Ever since I was a young boy, I felt called to deeply reflect on my life, my existence and what would happen to us as we pass away.

I vividly remember laying on my bed at 8 or 9 years old, wondering about what would happen to my Mom, my Dad, my brothers, myself, after we die.

Would I ever see my parents again? Would there be nothing but pitch dark, blackness? Is there even an afterlife as my Buddhist parents taught me?

Why are we here on Earth? Why do I exist?

Questions like this were common to ask myself even at such a young age.

As I reflect now as a 34 year old adult, I look back at that boy and am in awe. How could someone so young be filled with such complex questions and curiosity?

More importantly, however, I am so grateful for that young boy because it has given me the opportunity to connect with him and continue what he had begun.

You see, as an adult, a Husband, a Father, a family member, a friend, there has been so many thoughts, ideas and feelings that I have been wrestling with.

To say it has been difficult is an understatement. If I were being truly honest, it has been quite hellish, yet freeing at the same time.

Due to my responsibilties as a husband, father, provider, my thoughts and intentions have been grounded here on Earth, the day to day of how to provide a secure life for my family and how to give back to those closest to me who have helped me along the way. It is these two thoughts that replay over and over and over again in my mind. These thoughts lead me to focusing on money and what the quickest, surest and easiest way for me to attain said money is. And in so do doing, I have gone down rabbit holes that have lead me to many detours and dead ends.

However, I am blessed to have this opportunity to explore for this has lead me back to myself.

In my search, I found many ways to make money, however, most if not all does not resonate with me or is not an expression of who I am.

I know full well that I can make a ton of money from many of the endeavors that I had come across, however, it comes at the expense of what? My time, energy, focus and resources. The biggest among this is my time.

As Bruce Lee once said, “Love life, for time is what life is made of. Don’t squander it.”

Through much exploration, self exploration and meditation, I have returned back to myself.

And in so doing, I have discovered once again that my calling begins with none other than writing.

From my writing, everything else is born.

From my writing, I can think more clearly, articulate my speech more clearly, plan more clearly and the list goes on.

Writing for me is just like breathing. For when I write I feel free, weightless, and overcome with overwhelming joy. It almost feels as if I can’t write, I’d rather die.

From my writing, I can create videos, podcasts, tv shows, speeches, and positively impact the lives of millions if not billions of people.

I have had several near death experiences and each time I thought I was at the end and was going to die, the one thought I always had in my mind was: impact. Deep down in the depths of my soul, the human spirit that lives within me, in the deep cells of my bones, I have this unrelenting desire to positively help humanity. It has always been within me since I was a young boy and has never left me. Call me overly empathetic or someone who cares too much, but that’s just who I am. I want to help, in some way.

They say you see your life flash before your eyes when you are about to die and it is so true. For every near death experience, I not only saw my life flash before my eyes, but I also thought about making a positive impact on the world.

As you can clearly see the common thread is that I always thought to myself about making a positive impact on humanity.

THIS to me is why I am here. Why I exist. This is my calling.

Now, what form does this take? I do not know exactly, but what I do know is that it all starts with my mind, body and soul. From this, I stay quiet, I sit, I observer, I become self aware, I meditate, and I think. From here, I write. I write merely as an external expression of the vast 300,000 years of wisdom that live within my mind, body and soul. I write from our memory of the past, awareness of the present and dreams of our future.

As you can or cannot see from my writing, I am actually unraveling my own confusion, questions and feelings through writing. What began as me thinking writing was my calling, led me to feel, think and become fully aware of the infiniteness of my celestial being. My calling cannot be pinpointed to one thing, but for me I feel so “called” to simply help all things.

As I always say, I am but one man sharing my experiences, thoughts and feelings with you. Take it in whatever way you would like.

I just feel so called and compelled to help and serve.

Many blessings to you in your search for your calling.