Clarity Is Peace

I’m going to be completely honest and vulnerable. These past several weeks have been very difficult for me.

One because my family and I are traveling to Asia for 4 months and I have several businesses to manage and grow.

I have a local sports academy called Invincilete Sports Academy, a digital marketing agency called Achieve Visibility, revenue share deals, an online business under my name here on SonamLama.co.

So why the confusion?

Well, I’m at a point in my life where I would like to ensure my time, energy and focus is given to an endeavor that is of highest leverage yet I find joy in as well. One that energizes me instead of drains me.

To be specific, my mind was racing towards online coaching for Basketball players, online business coaching, and getting more digital marketing clients.

I am so happy to say that I am now relieved that I have found the highest leveraged business model for me.

It’s actually funny, because I’ve known this all along. I distilled it down to this:

  1. Online business
  2. Premium price point
  3. Recurring

That’s it.

And I am so happy to say this has give me so much peace, clarity and vision.

I can move forward and work with purpose, intention and energy.

I understand it may seem so simple to you and maybe even obvious. However, I have tried many different business models and failed in a lot of them while succeeding in some.

That said, finding a business model that I truly love, gives me energy, makes an enormous impact while being highly lucrative is something I’ve been searching for for years.

And “ain’t that a damn thing”, that the business model I had been searching for all along I was already doing or had put to the side.

The missing piece, if you will, was I didn’t have any results of making a living from my writing and youtube videos, which is why I stopped and shifted my focus to my Sports business and digital marketing agency.

Thus, in 2024 I will refocus on writing as my core contribution to the world, while leveraging Youtube videos to connect with others and reach our brothers and sisters all over the world.

I wish you all much peace, patience and clarity on your journey of discovering your calling.

Stop Lying To Yourself. Give Life to Your Gifts

Just stop lying to yourself.

Why do you continue drowning out that inner voice inside of you?

Are you so busy in your life majoring in minor things that you forget to make time for the one thing that is actually important?

How dare you run away from that voice inside.

That deeper part of you. The raw, real you. That is crying out to see the light of day and be born into this world.

Call me crazy but I know, I just know this “other” part of ourselves lies deep within each and everyone of us.

The majority of us just get so caught up with our daily lives, responsibilities and “adulting” duties that we just don’t have the time, energy, and space to communicate with this part of ourselves.

And some, just admit it, you just cannot be bothered.

What am I specifically talking about?

Well, to put it simply, I am talking about your subconscious mind within you and the gifts and magic that lie shackled within you.

It’s almost as if your gifts are locked up in a prison within you, so tightly handcuffed, that if you think deeply, is a part of you and thus it is dying and thus you are dying.

Much the same as a candle will soon burn out, your candle, if not for continuous monitoring, love, nurturing and fire, will burn out.

How do I know this you may ask?

Well, I lived through this as well and experience this on a daily basis.

I am but human just like you.

I experience and endure the same challenges you do.

I am not perfect nor is anyone.

However, I choose everyday to give life to my gifts, the magic and wonder deep inside me.

I have a daily habit or “sadhana” in Sankrit, of connecting and communicating with my subconscious mind through dreams, meditation, and present moment awareness.

This, is as Carl Jung says, is my “inner work”.

We are part of the collective unconscious and it would be quite helpful and a contribution if you and I contributed in some way to this collective unconsciousness.

My outlet of choice is through creating my art, writing, teaching my son/students/coaches that work for me, creating videos, fitness, athletics, entrepreneurial endeavors and so on.

For far too long I have allowed my gifts to lay dormant within me, shackled to the chains of fear and misery.

I say no more. And I say this to you if you will allow yourself.

No more will you live a life of dull, glum, gloomy drudgery.

Forsaken to your fate of boredom and soulless living just to get by.

If this is what you’d like then so be it, have at it.

If not, there is a door that you can enter that has everything you’ve ever wanted.

And what door might this be?

It is a door that leads you back to you.

To the one who truly sees.

To the one who’s imagination is boundless.

To the one who sees nothing but possibility and wonderment.

Do not fear it.

Embrace it. Embrace you.

Trust me, it will not be easy.

But it will be the journey of a lifetime and one that contains all that you have been seeking.

This is what it has been for me, at least.

Once you find your way back to you, please share with us all what you have found.

And if you would like to send it to me personally you can do that as well.

I am eager to learn what you find.

So I say to you, “Stop lying to yourself. Be true to yourself. Give life to your gifts.”

Magic awaits.

Harnessing Your Addictive & Obessesive Personality

For as long as I can remember, I have been an obsessive individual.

It doesn’t matter what it is, good or bad, productive or destructive.

I go all in. No pun intended.

For a majority of my pursuits in life, this addictive personality has served me well.

When trying to learn new skills, I become obsessed and learn everything about a certain subject.

When trying to get straight A’s in College I learned from people like MIT Professor, Cal Newport, on “How to Win At College.” Result: achieved 4.0 my Junior year in College.

When trying to make it as a Professional Basketball player, I woke up at 4 am, trained for 6 hours a day, went to Pro Showcases in places like Las Vegas, New York. Result: Played Semi-Pro for The Bronx Holy Flames, got a Pro Contract in the MNBA in Mongolia, played for my Nepalese National Team, played in Thailand, India.

When trying to attract my wife, I became obsessed on how to manifest her into my life. Result: I am happily married to the woman of my dreams.

When trying to help other and positively impact their lives I immersed myself to learn from people like Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins, Bryan Tracy, etc. Result: I run a successful Sports Skills Training academy helping 150 plus kids every week and am growing this website and social media channels to impact even more lives via the internet.

Now, on to the “not so productive” stuff.

When I was younger and filled with testosterone and sexual energy or “horniness” I would resort to “porn” and watched 2-4 hours in one day. Result: I wasted time, felt like shit and got erectile dysfunction “ED” for 2 weeks of my life.

When exercising, I can exercise for 5 to 8 hours straight, and I often did in my twenties. Result: Wasted time, energy and lost opportunities to make money.

When eating “junk food” I can eat like a 800 pound fat person. When eating junk food I am on a “See-Food” diet. Meaning I see food and I eat it. Result: I feel sluggish, regret eating so unhealthy and waste hours on the toilet and even more hours to recover the next day.

As you can see there are good and bad sides to having an obsessive personality or character.

As a man at 34 who has done endless amounts of inner work, deep meditation and reflection, I can honestly say I have developed a strong hold on channeling my obsessive personality for good.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I “indulge” in life because hey life’s too short right? Or times where I may slip up. But, I am much quicker to correct course and steer my ship to where I’d like to go.

This is possible for anyone. It just takes time, energy, focus and effort.

You can do it.

Make it happen.

Awareness

During a deep meditation this morning I entered a deep meditative state.

I was in total awareness of my bodily functions and mind.

I did not judge any thoughts or feelings I had. I just let them be.

I simply sat there in acceptance and observed the “goings on” of my body and mind.

I observed my left leg under my right calf muscle.

I observed my stomach growl due to the acidity and grelin, perhaps some hunger.

I observed my legs begin to strain a bit and so I stretched them out.

I observed my mind wander, entertaining different thoughts.

I observed and felt a deep, blissful relaxation come over me. It was as if I was floating. Total silence. Total peace. Nothing in the world mattered but this moment. Anything seemed possible.

How did I enter this state?

A deep intention of letting go and just “be-ing”.

No water, no food, no caffeine, nothing.

7 hours of restful sleep.

Listening to my body. I had woken up at 3:15 am, but I asked my body and mind, “are you ready to wake up?” it said, “no, not yet”, and so I went back to sleep. At 7:13 am it said “yes” and so I awoke.

I also took myself to my village in Nepal, on the grass facing Mount Everest, meditating.

Coming out of the meditation I felt at peace.

My whole day was given the feeling of intention.

Business Is An Art

Photo by Denise Johnson on Unsplash

Never thought of Business as an art form have you?

Well think again.

What is Business?

  1. a person’s regular occupation, profession, or trade.
  2. the practice of making one’s living by engaging in commerce.

What is Art?

Art: 1. the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.
2. the various branches of creative activity, such as painting, music, literature, and dance.

If business is a person’s regular profession and art is the expression of human creative skill and imagination in visual form then that would mean business can also be an art form.

Further, the definition above states, “typically in a visual form such as…”, which does not specify and thus infers that it can be any visual form, for which business definitely is visual.

And if we take the second half of the first definition for art above where it states, “producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power”. I, along with many of you reading this, would agree that a company none other than Apple demonstrates beauty in it’s products’ simplicity, elegance, and intuitiveness.

On the same token, Apple invokes emotion, whether good or bad, for there are die hard fans and equally die hard opposers. There’s businesses like Disney, which for my son, children across the globe and myself, embodies beauty, fantasy, joy, and love. When I think back to my childhood and two visits to Disney World, boy I can honestly say for me, at that time, Disney was “the happiest place on Earth.” My family and I have forged memories we will cherish forever and never forget.

Nike, inspires athletes and non athletes around the world to “Just Do It.” When we put on a piece of Nike gear, it’s almost as if we put on a piece of armor. We are ready for battle and will overcome any challenge or obstacle we are faced with.

In my own entrepreneurial endeavors, I use and showcase my creativity, imagination and gifts with the world.

For example, with my Invincilete Sports Academy business I infuse 25 years of Sports playing and coaching experience with the students within my various programs. It is quite literally “me” – my love, my heart, my soul, my body and my mind that I am giving to each and every student. You can call it “a labor of love.” In addition, I have often experimented with different training methodologies to see what may work for each individual student, for everyone is different and possesses different styles of learning, dribbling, shooting, and so on. On the marketing side, there have been many different experiments we have run in order to provide value and bring more students within our program.

Now, do I make money from this business? You bet. However, I am blessed and eternally grateful to have the opportunity to weave my passion, my calling with the need to make a living.

Why do I feel grateful? Well, one can only truly feel grateful if they have experienced the other side, meaning a life of boredom, depression, strong dislike for a previous vocation. And boy have I experienced that side.

For my online writing business I am gifted by The Lord, God, Higher Power, The Divine or whomever or whatever you believe in to pour the deepest depths of my mind, body and soul into words.

I am afforded a chance of a lifetime to be able to share my thoughts, beliefs, feelings, emotions with others.

Through writing, I am able to connect with my subconscious mind and the deepest part of who I am and share that “self actualized” inner being with my brothers and sisters.

If you can tell through my words, writing for me feels divine and other worldly. For me, it is my heaven or blissfulness on Earth.

And through writing I am blessed to distill my seminal work into words that I can impact my fellow brothers and sisters in this present generation and leave behind to help our future generation on their journey.

In closing, I am eternally grateful for even having the opportunity and ability to bring to life my dreams, my calling, my art into my work or “business”.

I understand business and art are separate from one another. I, after all, have many other creative artistic endeavors separate from business. However, for this constant wrestle of whether business and art can coexist, I would like to put that stress inducing notion to rest.

They can and have proven to successfully coexist for thousands of years.

So, let us continue this dance between business and art and be freed to both express our deepest artistic creative imagination while making a living and an impact.

Observations of Mind & Body During Meditation

Meditation for me is a way of life.

It is also a form of therapy.

As an avid meditator, I am in constant observance of my mind and body.

During my meditations, I do my best to empty my mind and dive into my body and simply enter a state of awareness.

In this deep meditative state, I sit and watch as an observer on a park bench, watching people go by.

I take witness to the racing thoughts of my 3,000 year old reptilian brain.

I take witness to the sensations in my body.

Interestingly, during today’s meditation I felt my heart a slight bit heavy, my stomach giving slight growls.

I saw that my mind was thinking about writing, getting freelance writing clients and various ways to impact other students within my Invincilete Sports Academy business.

As per my legs, they were fine due to daily stretching I’ve been doing.

My hands were still and not fidgety.

Meditation sessions like these are quite normal and what I experience on a daily basis.

I must say due to my natural, whole foods, diet with daily exercises in nature, running and playing with my son, I have integrated my “chi” more effectively and thus have amplified the power and benefits of my meditations.

As someone with boundless energy, exercising in nature has been an incredible way to release some of the tension within my body while being able to connect with nature and connect with myself as a human.

To me, nature is one of the, if not the most wondrous aspects of life here on planet Earth.

It is so simple, yet complex at the same time. It simply flows, functions and exists in full harmony.

Being able to exercise, breathe the oxygen into my lungs, work with the energies of nature, and ingest all she has to offer has made me become a more integrated, aligned, calm and centered human being.

I am able to detach from my thoughts, feelings, emotions, sensations, and observe and simply be aware of the inner workings of my mind, body and soul.

I am the one who sees and I am grateful to connect with this deeper side of myself and live a more free, peaceful and simple life.

Through awareness and observing my mind, body and soul I am set free.

I wish you much awareness and simply just be.

Much love,

Sonam

How Daily Exercise in Nature has Fueled My Writing

Once upon a time, I was an avid gym goer, “meathead” if you will.

However, after having a son and building multiple businesses and coming to the stark realization that going to the gym wasted 2 to 3 hours of my time with people I do not care to speak to in a gym with majority of equipment I don’t need or use, and in an environment filled with ego, anger, aggression, sometimes hate and judgeful eyes I decided to workout at home and in nature.

Two of the biggest deciding factors for me to no longer have the need for the gym was longevity in that I wanted to live past 110 and having a massive body was counter to that goal. Also, not only did I often spend 2 to 3 hours per day at the gym I was spending $30 per month when I could simply workout from home, in nature, at the park or if I really needed the gym I could go to our local rec center and workout with the weights there for $125 per year.

I digress.

With the explanation of why I no longer workout at the gym, I am ecstatic to share my daily workouts in nature with my son has been truly amazing.

I get to spend more time with my son, I feel more connected with myself, with nature, and get to improve my overrall heath and well being,

This past year I had actually put off exercise since I thought “dedicating” myself to just my work I would get more done, make more impact and make more money.

As a result, I did get a lot done, I made quite an impact and made more money, but at the cost of my health.

Although I had achieved these things, I felt there was something missing in my life. I felt I needed an outlet, a release of my boundless energy. I also felt my body, muscles and overral well being deteriorating.

Getting back to my daily habit of exercise has made me more aligned, given me more energy, more confidence, more faith, and more optimism.

I must say exercise has increased my writing quality and quantity.

Even this post you are reading is my second article I have written today. In the past I was only able to write 1 article per day for 17 minutes. I can now write two articles for an hour.

My creativity and imagination run wild and I am flowing with ideas, desire to write and a burning desire or “hootspah” to create.

This was missing before exercising, but now I feel as if my fire has rekindled and is burning brighter than ever.

I’ve always known exercise was important, but my results and productivity have 10xed and I will continue this habit.

I am a creator, write and athlete.

Much the same as our mind, body and spirit must be in balance, my health, work, play must be as well.

I encourage you to give it a try even it’s for 3 minutes a day.

Start small. Do 1 more each day.

And bare witness to the magic within you.

God speed.

Detachment

Objectiveness.

Be apart from. Not bound to something.

As humans, we have thousands of thoughts racing through our minds daily.

To add to our thoughts, we have emotions, feelings.

Essentially, life is a collectiveness of sights, sounds, sensations, and events.

However, many of us, myself included, cling to and identify with these thoughts, emotions, feelings, sights, sounds, sensations, events.

But, what are thoughts, emotions, feelings, sights, sounds, sensations, events?

Simply that – mere illusions. Things that our outside ourselves.

If we simply learn to detach from these “things” we will come to realize they don’t mean anything.

What is the goal of every human being?

You may say we all have different goals and you would be right, but at the very top of that long goal list there may be things like peace, love, happiness, joy, freedom, etc.

How do achieve this?

Well, not by clinging and identifying to things that’s for sure.

You have “potential” to achieve this through simply letting go and not staking your existence or life”s significance on any moment or momentary thought, emotion, feeling, sensation, sight, sound, sensations, or event.

You detach.

You are you.

Even controversially you are not you. You are the you that watches you.

Want to find peace?

Detach.

Want to find love?

Detach.

Want to find happiness?

Detach.

Want to find joy?

Detach.

Want to find freedom?

Detach.

Detach. Detach. Detach.

Now, does that mean apathy or just not caring about anything?

If that’s what you feel is what will work for you or help you find what you are looking for then go for it.

However, for me, it means to experience all of life’s magical gifts of thoughts, emotions, feelings, sights, sounds, sensations, events. But don’t cling to them.

Just live in the present moment. Engage and bask in the vastness of that moment and all of life’s gifts.

But if it does not serve you, just let it go, detach.

Stay Still and Become Aware

Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash

During meditation, it is easy to fidget, lose focus, get bored, allow our minds to wander, get frustrated and then wonder why are we even doing this? Is this even doing anything?

This has happened to me many times when I first started practicing meditation.

However, I’ve noticed, if I just sit still. And I mean completely still, without swallowing my saliva, thinking about my problems, being distracted by this sound, that sound, scratching the itch on my nose, I enter into this state of absolute awareness.

It is eerie almost, but I am totally focused on and in hyper awareness of everything going on around me. From the sounds of the birds chirping, the trees swaying back and forth, the sensation of my hands touching my legs, the itch on my nose, my saliva stuck at the top of my throat.

In this trance like state, I literally feel as if I am separate from my body and that I am the observer, the one who is aware of everything going on around.

I relinquish any desire of control.

If I hear cars or trucks going by, I let them pass and let go.

If I feel the need to swallow my saliva, I just stay still and do nothing.

If I have an itch, I don’t scratch it. I just let it go and let the sensation subsie on its own.

If I feel like moving or fidgeting, I don’t. I just sit still and let that feeling pass as well.

If I have thoughts in my mind, I do not entertain or attach to them. I let them pass.

Ultimately, I sit in total surrender and let go of anything and everything.

In this state of awareness, my mind, body and soul are empty.

I see nothing.

I hear nothing.

I feel nothing.

I just let be, what will be.

There is myself, the one who sees and the other.

In this state, I am connected to my subconscious mind, my creative imagination, my inner, deepest self.

In this state, there is infiniteness, abundance, possibility and magic.

I have found during my day to day life, I can connect with this part of my mind and cultivate some of my creative imagination through closing my eyes and just being still.

From this day forth until the rest of my days, I will stay still and become aware.

There is a well of infiniteness within each of us.

One shall simply close their eyes, sit in absolute awareness and connect with this higher level consciousness lying dormant within us.

From this source shall we create, dream and operate.

There is a whole other world within us waiting to be accessed and unleashed.

To those of you on this path, to you I say stay still and become aware.

Do What You Are Called To Do

Photo by Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash

Ever since I was a young boy, I felt called to deeply reflect on my life, my existence and what would happen to us as we pass away.

I vividly remember laying on my bed at 8 or 9 years old, wondering about what would happen to my Mom, my Dad, my brothers, myself, after we die.

Would I ever see my parents again? Would there be nothing but pitch dark, blackness? Is there even an afterlife as my Buddhist parents taught me?

Why are we here on Earth? Why do I exist?

Questions like this were common to ask myself even at such a young age.

As I reflect now as a 34 year old adult, I look back at that boy and am in awe. How could someone so young be filled with such complex questions and curiosity?

More importantly, however, I am so grateful for that young boy because it has given me the opportunity to connect with him and continue what he had begun.

You see, as an adult, a Husband, a Father, a family member, a friend, there has been so many thoughts, ideas and feelings that I have been wrestling with.

To say it has been difficult is an understatement. If I were being truly honest, it has been quite hellish, yet freeing at the same time.

Due to my responsibilties as a husband, father, provider, my thoughts and intentions have been grounded here on Earth, the day to day of how to provide a secure life for my family and how to give back to those closest to me who have helped me along the way. It is these two thoughts that replay over and over and over again in my mind. These thoughts lead me to focusing on money and what the quickest, surest and easiest way for me to attain said money is. And in so do doing, I have gone down rabbit holes that have lead me to many detours and dead ends.

However, I am blessed to have this opportunity to explore for this has lead me back to myself.

In my search, I found many ways to make money, however, most if not all does not resonate with me or is not an expression of who I am.

I know full well that I can make a ton of money from many of the endeavors that I had come across, however, it comes at the expense of what? My time, energy, focus and resources. The biggest among this is my time.

As Bruce Lee once said, “Love life, for time is what life is made of. Don’t squander it.”

Through much exploration, self exploration and meditation, I have returned back to myself.

And in so doing, I have discovered once again that my calling begins with none other than writing.

From my writing, everything else is born.

From my writing, I can think more clearly, articulate my speech more clearly, plan more clearly and the list goes on.

Writing for me is just like breathing. For when I write I feel free, weightless, and overcome with overwhelming joy. It almost feels as if I can’t write, I’d rather die.

From my writing, I can create videos, podcasts, tv shows, speeches, and positively impact the lives of millions if not billions of people.

I have had several near death experiences and each time I thought I was at the end and was going to die, the one thought I always had in my mind was: impact. Deep down in the depths of my soul, the human spirit that lives within me, in the deep cells of my bones, I have this unrelenting desire to positively help humanity. It has always been within me since I was a young boy and has never left me. Call me overly empathetic or someone who cares too much, but that’s just who I am. I want to help, in some way.

They say you see your life flash before your eyes when you are about to die and it is so true. For every near death experience, I not only saw my life flash before my eyes, but I also thought about making a positive impact on the world.

As you can clearly see the common thread is that I always thought to myself about making a positive impact on humanity.

THIS to me is why I am here. Why I exist. This is my calling.

Now, what form does this take? I do not know exactly, but what I do know is that it all starts with my mind, body and soul. From this, I stay quiet, I sit, I observer, I become self aware, I meditate, and I think. From here, I write. I write merely as an external expression of the vast 300,000 years of wisdom that live within my mind, body and soul. I write from our memory of the past, awareness of the present and dreams of our future.

As you can or cannot see from my writing, I am actually unraveling my own confusion, questions and feelings through writing. What began as me thinking writing was my calling, led me to feel, think and become fully aware of the infiniteness of my celestial being. My calling cannot be pinpointed to one thing, but for me I feel so “called” to simply help all things.

As I always say, I am but one man sharing my experiences, thoughts and feelings with you. Take it in whatever way you would like.

I just feel so called and compelled to help and serve.

Many blessings to you in your search for your calling.

We’re All Dying, Die Well

Life has many ups and downs.

Very similar to a surfer riding a wave.

You can choose to struggle and force your way through the wave, or you can let go, enjoy the ride, go “with” the ebb and flow of the water and just be.

This metaphor of riding a wave relates quite well to riding the waves of life.

One moment we may be having the time of our lives, full of happiness and experiencing pure ecstacy. The next moment you may endure the worst pain of your life.

But what is the common theme?

Whether good or bad, it all comes and goes.

Nothing is permanent.

It will all pass.

Just like our lives and our existence.

We all come and go.

We will not last.

Take it as being morbid or a realist.

This is just a fact.

You can choose to be depressed by this fact or inspired by it.

Choose what you’d like, however, for myself I choose to be inspired by it.

I understand my time is limited and that I will die one day.

Upon first realizing this, yes, I felt a bit sad and depressed.

But, after some deep thought, meditation and reflection I’ve come to realize this:

So what, we will die one day. Does that mean I will sulk and spend my days withering away?

No, I will experience all that this life has to offer. I will do my best to live fully, live in the moment, live out my wildest dreams and live with joy.

In essence, I will die well.

I will go with the flow of life’s ups and downs and ride the waves of life.

I will laugh and I will cry.

I will be happy and I will get upset.

I will succeed and I will fail.

I will be joyful and I will suffer.

I am after all a human being.

But, will I stay in these moods, moments or emotions?

No, these feelings will all come and go.

Just the same, I will come and go.

You will come and go.

We will come and go.

We are all dying.

I accept this fate.

However, I choose to die well.

What will you choose?

Don’t Ever Grow Up

“Grow up, you’re an adult”. 

How many times have you heard that?

One too many, I’m sure.

I know people mean well when they say it and society influences us through programming our minds that we must grow up.

As adults, I understand that there are responsibilities and duties that we must fulfill.

If you have a family, it is your “grown up” duty to earn a living in order to put food on the table for your children, provide clothing, a roof over your children’s head, pay rent, pay bills, pay taxes, change your baby’s diapers, clean the house, wash the dishes, throw out the garbage, take your care for a repair, etc.

Aside from that, I am of the belief that we should embrace our childlike wonder, our passions as a child, our interests as a child, and view the world from the lens of a child.

Why?

Well, for one, children are not jaded like you and I.

They have not seen many failures and ugly sides of many things.

They have no limiting beliefs or limitations in their mind of what can or can’t be done.

They are massive action takers.

They are risk takers.

They are experimenters.

And they truly, in the depths of their soul, believe that anything is possible.

This is why I embrace the child within me.

Too often in life, we think and make decisions with our logical brain.

However, what I’ve found is that listening to my intuition and the inner child within me almost always steers me in the right direction.

It’s a visceral, gut feeling. You know, that voice that tells you, “hey this does not “feel” right.” or “hey, this sounds freaking amazing. Let’s give it a shot.” That voice.

Also, in Buddhism we have a belief that “desire is the roof of all suffering.”

However, Sadh Guru, says, “unfulfilled desire is the cause of all suffering.”

Lately, I’ve been pondering this thought and have come to find some truth in it.

As a child, we have lots of dreams, wishes and desires. However, when we grow up, we have been so conditioned, taught and programmed from a young age that we must go to college, get a good job, start a family, buy a house, work at the same job for 40 years, retire and die.

But, many of us have realized that this is the belief and system brought upon us by an older generation from the industrial age and is not a one size fits all, blueprint for everyone.

As humans, we are all different. No two people are alike as well all have different interests, passions, likes, dislikes, talents, strengths, etc.

It is this very reason why sitting in silence and connecting and listening to our inner child is what will allow us to find what it is we truly want to do in life.

As I believe, life really has no meaning, except the meaning we give it. So, in that vain, why not do what we’ve always wanted to do ever since we were kids.

No matter how crazy, wild and impossible it may seem. 

Go for it.

Now I understand some of us may have actually “grown” out of some of those dreams. But stay true to the dreams you still have for when you were a child and double down on them.

You will be amazed at what you find.

All the Answers You Seek Are Within

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

For far too long, I have followed the words, thoughts, beliefs and decisions of others. It is only natural as we humans are mimetic creatures. We follow and mimic the actions of others.

For this particular decision in my life, it was about what business or decision should I pursue next.

As many of you may or may not know, I own a Sports academy with many students and coaches. We have had steady growth over the course of this past year, however, I wanted faster and more growth. I am now in year 4 of my business and after finally systematizing several parts of our business, getting lean by eliminating waste, specifically high maintenance clients, coaches who are not a good fit, I have finally been given the chance to take a breathe and think about what our next best move may be.

After, I would say, 100 hours of learning about different industries, different strategies, listening to advice from different mentors, I arrived back to me and my strengths.

Through my meditation, self introspection, soul searching, I realized asked myself: what is my goal?

Well, my goal is to be financially free by having passive income and/or a self managing company. This would allow me to give back to my loved ones, travel with my family, work on my writing, and do what I want, when I want, with whomever I want, as much as I want. Thus, my true goal is freedom, in every sense of the word.

Thus, by looking inward I realized there are so many gifts within me that would allow me to live peacefully, harmoniously and effortlessly.

God, the Lord, higher power, whoever, has given me unbelievable gifts and strengths that I simply need to tap into in order to live my fullest, dream life.

I realized through much thinking, strategizing and deliberating that all along within me were the answers I was seeking.

I am someone who does not need much to be happy.

As I’ve gotten older, I value peace, happiness and joy.

Anyone or anything that affects my peace, happiness and joy is a cancer and must be avoided.

That said, I realized I could achieve my end goal of financial freedom by focusing on writing, youtube video, business skills, managing skills, and make a huge amount of passive income without having to build yet another business in an industry I care little about that also is not within my circle of competence.

I can simply play within my circle of competence and stick to my greatest natural strengths and shine a light on just those strengths and allow myself to flourish.

Looking back, I could have saved myself years of headache and heartache had I simply focused on my strengths and keeping a lean business built on as few components as possible.

However, hindsight is 20/20. I am glad to have built a business with amazing Coaches. But I’ve realized I don’t enjoy managing or running the operations of a business. Therefore, I will do what I enjoy, which is teaching, training my students (as long as time allows and I am able), building relationships, bringing new students into our program to grow our impact, and hand the rest of my business to my COO, continue writing, creating Youtube videos and focusing on sharing my greatest strengths with the world.

All the answers I seek are within. I have always known this but as a stubborn, hard headed person at times, I need to go through the trials and tribulations in order to truly realize that this is true.

I hope through my mistakes and journey you too will learn, all you seek is within you.

A Man Does Not Complain, We Solve & Fix Things

As a kid, I saw my Dad work hard, I mean really hard. But, he also yelled, name called and complained a lot as well.

Recently, I found myself complaining…a lot. You see, my wife has her ways of doing things. We all do. However, there are some things like leaving lids open, keeping food out overnight, throwing out perfectly good clothes that we can either wear or donate to salvation army.

As you live with someone these things that annoy you can add up, and boy do they add up quickly.

And so, it got to a breaking point where I had enough and expressed my thoughts and proposed a solution to the issue. I even gave reasons why for example, leaving food out may increase bacteria overnight and would become unhealthy to consume, but she was having none of it, as she explained she grew up on a farm, never refrigerated food and never got sick from eating food left out overnight.

Of course, with her being a head strong woman she held her ground and we got into a shouting match.

I do not like to argue, as it is a waste of time, a true waste of life.

After doing some self reflection, I realized part of the reason for us arguing was me just complaining about it and not doing anything to fix the issue.

I’ve decided to just keep my mouth shut, put the food in the fridge in containers, close lids she leaves opened, separate clothes that we can use or donate to Salvation Army in separate bags, etc.

It’s not worth it nor is it healthy for our family, mental health and well being to continue to argue.

I understand it will be a challenge, but I have promised myself to keep a journal of how much I complain on any given day and chart my progress. Also, I love wristbands and every time I complain I will have to sling shot my wristband on my wrist and then move the band over to the other wrist to remind my brain and body that I just complained, again.

Complaining is a victim mentality and gets us nowhere.

Let’s become the hero in our lives and work to solve, fix or just let go to live with peace, happiness and compassion.

Suffer More, Suffer Better

Suffer better. Suffering is something I disliked and shied away from for many years of my life. As someone who looks up to Tony Robbins, his goal was to “end suffering”. So I wanted to end my suffering and the suffering of others.

Now, I still want to and will help to end the suffering of those who are less privileged, helpless, or were just born in a tough environment.

That being said, these last few years, I have embraced suffering and truly see it as the path to inner and external fulfillment.

What I mean by this is that when you face your fears and go through the suffering and pain of an obstacle, challenging time in your life or project you have been putting off, you gain the power as you endured the worst and either completed your mission or at the very least, still came out alive.

And in my own personal experience, I have encountered challenging times that could have easily broke me but I chose to endure the suffering and pain.

For example, my business was struggling to survive due to a “perfect storm” of events which I’ve written about here. Or I was gaining to much weight and my belly began to pop out overflowing with fat around my waist creating love handles, which made me, a sports skills trainer, look unprofessional, lazy and undisciplined.

I could have easily given up on my business and gotten a job or continue to let myself go and become fatter and more out of shape. But I “embraced the suck” like the Navy Seals say and kept fighting. I’ve cold called leads, followed up on referrals, and closed 10 times more clients. I’ve gotten back to waking up at 4 am and going to the gym. I cannot be stopped and will not stop.

And so what I mean by “suffer more, suffer better” is continue to callous your mind and body by enduring the pain of suffering and then quiet your mind so you can objectively look at what is worth suffering for and what will bring you closer to your goal or help you achieve it. That’s what I mean by “suffer more, suffer better.”

So many of us “live lives of quiet desperation” and give up on the first signs of suffering and pain.

“Life is dukkha”. – Lord Buddha. Translated in English this means “life is suffering”.

In life, we will suffer but we have the choice, in most occasions, to choose our suffering. Sometimes you don’t get to choose, that’s fine too. Get through that suffering and then when you have the freedom you can choose your suffering.

Someone else who believed this is Frederich Neitzche who said, “to live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in the suffering.”

Life is full of suffering.

What will you choose to suffer for?

I’m Living the Dream

SonamLama-MontrealCanada-I'mLivingTheDream
Me in Montreal, Canada this past week “living the dream”

I’m living the dream.

And what dream might that be?

Well, I have a beautiful wife, son and am running a successful business.

But it wasn’t always like this.

You see, I was once depressed. Not clinically but depressed nonetheless.

I worked at a prestigious company in New York City. I had a good salary, wore nice clothes, and was working a relatively respected corporate desk job.

The only thing was, I hated my life. I hated my job. I hated the commute. I hated being told what to do.

And most of all I hated the fact that I still had dreams of traveling the world, playing professional Basketball and building an online business.

But, I had done neither. I had settled. I mean by all accounts I was living a pretty good life…on the outside.

However, deep down, I was dying.

I would wake up at 7 am most days, wash up, put my office clothes on, run to the bus, hopefully find a seat on the crowded 190 Bus to New York City. Sometimes I would get lucky and get a seat. And when I did I would look up to the ceiling and just wonder, “How in the hell did I get here? Why I am working a freaking boring a** corporate job? I should be having a successful online business, traveling the world and playing professional Basketball.”

This time on the crammed bus, with people bumping into you at every turn, with their butts literally in your face, and the smell of must and sweat on hot summer days literally felt like a living hell.

And when I finally made it into the office, that’s when the real bullsh*t began.

I would get a pinging notification (one of the worst sounds ever) that we were having a “quick” roundup or morning meeting. 

“F*ck, shoot me now.” I’d say to myself.

Once in the meeting we would talk about…

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Just a bunch of hot air.

Literally, nothing important or urgent. I mean we would talk but there almost always was never any clear outcome or definitive decision to come out of the meeting. It would mostly be bosses inflating their egos and other colleagues with even bigger egos looking to impress the boss in order to get a promotion. 

And corporate execs wonder why we all hate meetings.

After the meeting, everyone would make a mad dash back to their desks.

And throughout the day I would put out fires and work on meaningless sh*t. Ok, I lied, there was some points of where I felt what I was doing was helping someone. But for the majority of my time in the corporate world I felt like I was not making any positive impact on the world. As the cliche goes, I felt like another number, like Steve Jobs said, “A square peg in a round hole.”

But, thank the Lord, God, the heavens, or some higher power, I was laid off. There was some emotion because my income source had been cut off, but I felt liberated.

I took some time to “find myself”. But after a few days, I realized I was free. And so I trained even harder in my Basketball training, got an offer for my first professional Basketball contract in Mongolia and I was out while having a few marketing clients with my SEO business.

Fast forward a few years, I found the love of my life, we had our beautiful baby boy and post pandemic, I am now running a successful, close to six figure a year Basketball & Soccer skills training business.

Best of all, I have time freedom. I get to do what I want, when I want, with whomever want, as much as I want.

I no longer have to ask someone if I can take a day off, a few days off, or if I can do anything. I just freaking do it.

As far as work goes, I am doing what I love. Every. Single. Day. Of. My. Life.

I write in the wee hours of the morning, working on my online side business.

I make breakfast for my son and coffee for my wife. Mornings are “our” family time, since my wife works nights. And it’s great because I’m a morning person.

By day, I am out teaching and training kids and adults on how to become better athletes, better Basketball and Soccer players, but most importantly how to become better people.

I also get to fit in my own fitness and training as well.

But I have to pinch myself some days, because I am truly living my dream life.

I have a beautiful family, I get to express my creativity in areas that I love, I’m providing a healthy income for my family, and I’m actually making a positive impact in the lives of other human beings.

I am forever grateful, truly blessed and will strive each and every day to give as much of myself and be in service of others to provide the maximum amount of value as possible.

I’m living my dream life. 

When will it be time to live yours?

Don’t Blindly Do What People Say. Experiment and Discover If It Fits and Works for YOU.

Photo by Chase Baker on Unsplash

Taking someone’s advice as Gospel truth and believing it at face value has to be the dumbest thing anyone can do.

I truly mean that.

As human beings we are all different creatures. Yes, we are creatures of habit, we are animals and have the same DNA makeup.

But when it comes to what works for each of us, it can be totally different.

What I mean by that is this – if someone told you, “oh hey, skydiving healed my back pain.” Would you blindly believe them and just go on believing that “skydiving” is what healed their back pain?

I hope not. 

I see and hear of far too many well intentioned people these days following the fake “Gooroos”, pundits and influencers. Young and old alike. It makes no difference.

Too many people following others like sheep and doing exactly what they say without questioning why they are doing it, what the purpose is or if it even works for THEM in the first place.

Wow, what a freakin revelation. Genius right?

No, it’s called freakin common sense. But you know the old adage, “you’ll come to find common sense is not so common.”

Please STOP doing this. Stop following “Group Think” and herd mentality. 

You’re a human being, an apex predator and one of the most intelligent, if not the most intelligent creatures on Earth with an ability to use logical reasoning, build things, and don’t simply react on immediate animal impulses. 

Instead, you should EXPERIMENT for yourself. Try what these so called “experts” are spouting. Act as if you are a scientist in a lab. 

What is a scientist anyway?

A Scientist is someone who comes up with a hypothesis and conducts experiments to prove or disprove his or her hypothesis.

The precise definition of a scientist is a person learned in science and especially natural science: a scientific investigator.

An INVESTIGATOR.

Now, what is an investigator?

A person whose job is to examine a crime, problem, statement, etc. in order to discover the truth.

So, experiment, investigate and TRY their teachings or prescriptions for yourself.

Many times you’ll come to find that a lot of what they teach you will turn out to be utter bullshit and does not work. Or what they teach is super slimy and does not align with your values and morals.

For example, in my own life, I’ve studied and learned from many so called “Gurus” in business and with online marketing. I’ve bought many courses and I’ve come to find that a lot of what these people are teaching simply do not work like they say or they sort of work but their methods are extremely shady and do not align with me and my personal values, goals and morals.

Interestingly, there have also been many courses or methods that do work, but they just do not match or jive with who I am as a person and what I stand for.

Even further, there are online training programs that promise to help you “dunk” a basketball but really all they do is help you get quicker. I’ve purchased such a program with a recurring, monthly charge and it did not help me dunk again. Period. Wasted almost a year.

But, I did get quicker, faster, stronger and more well versed in bio mechanics but once again, it did not help me achieve my goal of dunking again.

Sometimes you’re not meant to achieve a goal or sometimes it just doesn’t happen for whatever reason.

That is OKAY.

And may lead you into something greater. The learnings you gather and of who you truly are is what matters.

Also, you don’t have to act like someone or think having their style or personality is the ONLY style or way to achieve something. You know that saying, “there’s a million ways to skin a cat.”

One of the biggest ones is not to blindly follow how someone else lives and believe that it is the only way to live. It’s THEIR life and YOU have your life. So live it and make it how you want. Again, try out things that personally fit you.

As a result, I struggled for many years trying to find “success”, but more importantly I struggled for many years attempting to discover a methodology or form of work that would allow my creativity to flow out of me and allow me to truly express myself in the most authentic way possible.

Thanks to my experiences, trials, tribulations and failures I learned what I did NOT want to do and it led me to meditation and really getting in touch with who I am deep down inside.

I was called on a journey of self exploration, self discovery and through much deep thought and self reflection and introspection I have been able to discover what truly works for me.

Yes, me. Me as a unique, individual with many passions, interests, values, perspectives and desires to affect massive positive change and impact on the world through my creative expressions, my abilities and my genius within.

It’s taken many failures and a few successes along the way for me to realize this.

My hope is that you may not have to suffer as much or as long as I have and can begin to meditate on and reflect deeply by looking deeply within yourself of: 

  • Who are you?
  • What truly makes you come alive?
  • What do you feel so compelled to do?
  • What do you possess in yourself that no other human being possesses? PleaseI I beg you, share that with us all.
  • How do you learn and in what way? Meaning, what is the most optimal way for you to learn? Is that visually, auditory, kinesthetic or all three?
  • What are your personal values, your morals, your ethics, way of being, way of living?
  • What are your goals, dreams, ambitions?

And lastly, what is it that if you were on your death bed, you wished you would have done or achieved?

Do THAT. Now.

In closing, remember to please not take what someone else tells you what works for them as fact and finite.

Nothing is finite. You are an infinite being.

You are powerful beyond measure. You must try and throw things on the wall to see what sticks.

However, no one else can do this for you. This is a personal journey and one of the most important journeys for you as this is your life and your work takes a huge part of your life.

Perhaps you agree with me, perhaps you don’t.

I really don’t care, at all. It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that you experiment and try many things to find something or things that unleashes your inner genius into the world. Now that my friend is what matters.

I wish you love, strength, and all the good fortune on your journey.

Stay blessed.

Sonam

Stopping Coffee After 3 pm Has Improved My Sleep Quality & Allowed me to wake up at 4:30 am Rested

Photo by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash

I love coffee!

It’s freaking amazing.

It is the elixir of life.

It allows me to enter my flow state, venture into unknown worlds and write about them.

It’s my rocket fuel that super charges my mind, body and spirit.

I can literally move boulders with my bare hands after a few sips of my favorite Starbucks French Roast Dark Roast Ground Coffee w/ Hazelnut Coffee mate Creamer.

Ok, seriously though. I get shit done on that drip.

But, and this is a big but, I MUST stop drinking around 3 pm, 4:30 pm the latest or else my sleep will be total doo-doo.

Yeah, I’ll get the recommended 8 hours or so but I wake up groggy, in a slight daze and feel like I only slept for 4 hours.

Now how in the actual frick does that make sense?

It shouldn’t, but that’s how science and our bodies work.

You see, coffee stays in your system for up to 8 hours after you drink it.

So let’s say you drink your last cup of good ol’ joe at 6.

That junk is gonna stay in yo’ system until 2 am.

And guess what?

Studies and various research has shown that we get our most refreshing and nutrifying sleep before 12.

You know the old saying, “any hour before 12 counts as double.”

Also, coffee posssesses inside it a chemical called adenosine.

Adenosine is a chemical found in human cells. There are three different forms: adenosine, adenosine monophosphate (AMP), and adenosine triphosphate (ATP). Adenosine blocks electrical signals in the heart that cause irregular heart rhythms.

When you over fill your adenosine levels it will start to wreak havoc on your immune system. And in this case, your sleep quality.

So what was my solution?

DECAFFEINATED ORGANIC TWINING PURE PEPPERMINT TEA w/ HONEY & LEMON!

Let’s go!

Ok, I know, not that exciting.

BUT, for me, it’s totally exciting because I get to continue drinking something hot after my last cup of “cawfee” (Jersey boy. Jersey we out here!)

And to make it taste 100 times better I add 2-3 heaping tablespoons of Organic Honey and half a lemon.

Bro, you stir that up just right and consume that thing it tastes freakin amazing!

Coffee, you know I love you.

Please don’t get jealous. You’re still my #1.

But dang that hot honey organic mint decaf tea though…

Anywho, after guzzling that bad girl down I’m amped. Locked and loaded to fire again at the computer and create some epic shit.

Oh yeah and when I call it quits for the night, I stroll into bed around 10 pm and wake up at 4 am to 5 am feeling like a champ! Fully rested, recovered, and ready to kick the shit out of my day!

To wrap up here, I hope you gleaned some value out of my beautiful memoir/cycle of my coffee and decaf tea consumption.

It’s been a total game changer.

But, I hope you try it out for yourselves because I’ve substituted my love of coffee and caffeine for something non-caffeinated and my immune system has thanked me and rewarded me greatly.

I hope you try it because I’m sure you’ll thank me as well.

Let’s go get em’.

A Clever Trick that Helps Me Write 1,000 Words a Day in Under 45 minutes

A-Clever-Trick-that-Helps-Me-Write-1,000-Words-a-Day-in-Under-45-minutes-SonamLama.co
Photo by Thom Milkovic on Unsplash

“Write Drunk, edit Sober!” Boom, that’s it. That’s the trick. No need to read on any further.

You’re welcome. I just saved you 5 minutes of your life. Ok, bye.

Oh wait, you’re still here?

Ok, then I guess you’ve never heard of the phrase before, “Write drunk, edit sober”.

Allow me to enlighten you for a moment.

For those of you who haven’t heard this phrase before, it shouldn’t be taken literally.

I’m not suggesting you literally drink some whiskey or beer, get drunk and then start writing and wait until you’re sober to edit. No, not at all. But hey if that’s your thing and helps you write, then more power to you. Have at it! Salud!

But what the phrase is really saying, is this.

You see, us writers sometimes run out of things to say or come across this thing called, “Writer’s block“.

Another camp of writers have this habit to be “perfect” and feel the need to edit as they are writing.

What “write drunk, edit sober,” allows you to do is write with a stream of consciousness, like a mad man, or a chicken with its head cut off. Too much? Yeah I thought so too.

Anywho.

You just write and write WITHOUT editing one line. You save those edits for later.

Look, I know, writing is our passion and is our thing, our form of expression to the world. Therefore, we want everything to be perfect and so we put so much emphasis on choosing the right words, the right message, the right tone – God forbid if we offend anyone. Oh no we don’t want to do that. Ugh, please.

This aim for perfection, politically correctness and desire to not hurt anyone’s feelings has been many a cause for analysis by paralysis.

Just stop it.

What “write drunk, edit sober” does, is it allows you to easily enter a state of flow without having to worry about being perfect or “task switching” from writing to editing and then back to writing. In addition, if you were not made aware there is a high cost when task switching or multitasking that you pay with your lost of productivity.

As writers, we all know that entering that state of flow or “zone” is a much heralded place and moment. It comes and goes for a lot of us and is difficult for many of us to consistently enter. I’ve written about another example of flow states I have entered before in my blog post here titled: Flow

Put in another way, this is our “Deep state” and the type of work we are doing is what’s called, “Deep Work” coined by author, Cal Newport. I’ve purchased and read “Deep Work” myself and highly recommend you read it or listen to the audio version because Cal has a lot of great insights, which may be helpful for you.

In my own writing I often write in this stream of consciousness for 35-45 minutes. Sometimes an hour if I’m really rocking. But 35-45 minutes is my sweet spot until I start feeling ancy, my back starts to ache, butt starts to hurt and I want to get up and walk around.

Researchers have found that distractions will take you out of your flow and will take approximately 15-20 minutes tjust to get back in flow. If you’re someone who is constantly distracted, switch tasking can add up pretty quickly and before you know it the day is over and you’ve accomplished nothing, nada, zilch.

But in all seriousness, writing in this stream of consciousness, is a powerful way to really say what you want to say. When I am in my zone, the words just seem to flow onto the page. It is quite a weird experience and can often feel like an out-of-body experience. I know that may sound a bit woo woo but you have to understand that I pray and meditate everyday and so writing for me is often an extension of my meditation.

So, yes I am the one writing but be it my consciousness, subconscious or a spiritual force, the ideas and words just come to me. It is difficult to explain but when I am in flow and really passionate about the topic, I channel my inner writer and write something that I hope would be helpful for others. My focus is no longer on me, but on helping others and expressing my idea in the fullest capacity that I can.

And for you skeptics, yes YOU, I know you may be thinking what a load of BS and you would be right, because this may not work for you and for a good number of people. What might work for you is writing an outline and then hammering on the article. While others might prefer writing out the ending and then working backwards.

Everyone has their method of what works for them. This way of writing is what works for me.

But for those of you who find this method interesting or would like to try it out, I suggest the next time you sit down to write your next piece, “Write drunk, edit sober.”

Cheers (I swear, I am not drinking)

Sonam

Write What Matters To You

What makes you come alive?

No seriously, what makes you come alive?

Write about that.

You see, there are times when you are so compelled to write about a certain topic.

In fact, right in this moment, I literally feel so compelled to write about this very topic of “writing what matters to you”. I mean of course there are times where we have to write about topics that are important or helpful, but don’t really matter to us.

It may be because it is your full time profession as a freelance writer to write for clients, there is a trending topic that you feel you need to capitalize on, or you just simply want to help a massive amount of people with specific problems they are facing. Whatever it is.

I understand these subjects are important and don’t get me wrong you will write about them and produce super helpful articles. However, what I am saying is, don’t forget to also write about what truly matters to you, for it is what truly matters to you, what makes you come alive and what inspires you the most that will allow your writing to illuminate.

And in the process, you surely will help people along the way who share the same sentiment as you. As humans, we are all unique, but at the very same time many of us share similar experiences and interests. If you write about a certain experience or interest that you have I am sure someone, somewhere in the world has experienced exactly what you have experienced or has a deep interest in your exact same interest.

Write what matters to you.

And in so doing, write from your heart, share with us how you really feel and what you really think, because we as your readers will be able to connect with you on such a deep level and share the human experience with you.

As a byproduct of writing what matters to you, you will be helping someone far more than anyone has ever helped them in that area before in their life and ignite a fire inside them that was once a small flame slowly dwindling away. This fire of inspiration may urge them to share with others what they learned from you or even start writing what matters most to them, which would never have happened had it not been for your writing.

I know it may seem far fetched to you how a simple piece of writing would be able to have such a powerful impact but think of the books, blogs, quotes, or articles that changed your life for the better. And the movies, short films, tv shows, which changed your life for the better and which all began as a written script and transformed into spoken word.

Yes, I am hoping you are now beginning to see the power of your pen and the power of your written words. The power of your experiences, your interests, your inspirations, your passions.

Writing what matters to you, will allow you to come from a place of pure authenticity, pure joy, pure passion, pure bliss. There will be no sense of any sort of artificialness, which we so often see in mainstream media these days. It will be you in all your glory.

If you even feel just a small inkling of desire to write about a certain topic, please follow the calling, for it could very well be your calling.

The Power of Doing Nothing

You see, there is great power in doing nothing. Yes, there are times when action is required. But what I’m talking about here is staying still. Let’s dive in to what I mean by “the power of doing nothing.”

Primarily, I’m referring to three things: meditation, fasting, and nature.

Take meditation for example.

What do you do when you meditate?

Right, you sit down, remain still, allow your thoughts to come and go and focus on your breath or areas of pain, depending on what type of meditation you are doing.

But, what are you actually doing?

Actually, you are doing absolutely nothing.

And it is in this act of doing nothing that you are finally given an opportunity to be alone with your thoughts, listen to your conscious and subconscious mind, detach from your thoughts, emotions, allow yourself to just let everything go. This simple act of just letting go is incredibly powerful in that you allow yourself to enter into a state of calm, peace, serenity and blissfulness. There is nothing that can phase you, alter your mood, or take you off your center. You are on a different vibrational plane. You are on a different frequency. You are free.

If you were to enter this deep meditative state and allow yourself to just do nothing for 20-30 minutes a day, every day for the rest of your life, you will fundamentally change who you are for the better. I speak from experience when I say this that having a daily meditation ritual has been one of the most life changing experiences I have ever had. I went from an emotional, angry, egotistical person to a more clam, peaceful, loving and purposeful human being.

Next, we have fasting. Now, after you have done some sort of meditation practice you can move on to fasting. Just like meditation, you are doing well, nothing. You are simply not eating or drinking for an extended period of time. You will come to find that it is both physically and mentally challenging. It is physically challenging because you are depriving yourself of food, the thing we need to survive and nourish our bodies. It is mentally challenging because in the beginning of your habit of fasting, you are in a constant battle with your mind of whether to break your fast or continue torturing yourself.

For me, I practice a form of fasting called “intermittent fasting“. This is not a diet per se but rather a structure of eating. You simply eat during an 8 hour window and fast until the next day. So, I typically eat my first meal around 3 pm, stop eating around 9 pm and don’t eat until 3 pm the next day.

The first week is usually very challenging, since you are practicing a new way of eating, skipping breakfast and delaying your first meal.

After the first week, you will experience a feeling of deep focus, more energy, and better mood. Not to mention there are a multitude of health benefits that you will gain from eating less and giving your digestive system a break, from weight loss, gut health, decrease in risk of diabetes, cancer, and a slew of many other benefits.

Lastly, we have, nature. As humans, nature is our natural environment. It is where we first lived when we came on this Earth, thousands of years ago as Neandrathals.

It is unreal how I can go from feeling so stressed, full of anxiety, and anger but then go out into nature and breathe in nature’s fresh air to feeling refreshed, nourished and calm.

In present day society, we live in “boxes”. We live in our box homes, go to work in a box office/cubicle, come home to our box homes, eat from box cardboards, workout in a box gym, watch our box tvs, etc.

However, when we get back out into our natural habitat, into nature, we immediately can feel a sense of calm, freshness, and pureness. Just feeling that cold winter air hit your face or that summer breeze can instantly make you feel as if mother nature is speaking to you and telling you that everything will be ok, that she is here for us and that we are powerful beyond our imagination.

So, I encourage you to take some time out of your busy day to do…nothing.
Meditate, fast and just sit still in nature.

Your mind, body and soul will thank you for it.

Peace and Love,
Sonam

Memento Mori

“Memento Mori” – Marcus Aurelius.

This is a Latin phrase, which means to “be conscious of your own mortality”. This phrase goes through my mind everyday.

Now, as a Father, I use this quote as a reminder to cherish every moment with my Son, be present with him, teach him all that I know, and to make each moment count.

In fact, Gary Vaynerchuck, the well known social media influencer thinks about death very often. He even goes so far as to say,

Every morning, when I wake up, I pretend that my family dies because if you can really feel that like I can, nothing else could possibly upset you. Everything comes down to perspective and understanding how good it is that we really have it.

Pondering death allows him to realize that

The greatest thing about accepting your own death and using “You’re gonna die” in a very positive, optimistic, empowering way is that it motivates you to do extraordinary things.

I totally agree with this, because when you ponder your own mortality you are instilled with a sense of urgency – a desire to create and positively impact the world.

As someone who suffers from a mild case of OCD, the pandemic has heightened my OCD compulsions and I use this quote constantly to help me stop myself from engaging in my compulsions and wasting precious time.

To put this phrase even more so at the front of my mind, I heard news late last night that one of my childhood Hockey coaches, “Coach Diddle”, who’s full name is “Johnny Ray Mcdonald” had just past away at the age of 58. What is strange is that just a few weeks ago I hugged him and said, “Coach Diddle, how are you? I haven’t seen you in so long”. To which he replied, “Yeah, it’s so good to see you. I’m good, about to play some Hockey”.

And I said, “I’m doing Basketball skills training for kids and adults these days.” Coach Diddle said, “Yeah, you got to make money.” I said, “Take care Coach Diddle”. His last words to me were, “Take care Sonam”.

The eerie part of this is, Coach Diddle is the second friend, whom I hugged and spoken to who passes away in the same week. My previous friend was Alexa Valiente, who was just 28 years old when she passed a few years ago.

Most of all, however, is the advent of Covid-19 and the various new variants that spring up everyday, which has caused me to contemplate and meditate on the thought of “Memento Mori” and to cherish each moment, because we never know when it will be our time.

Last week, in fact, I noticed I had a little tickle in my throat and the signs of a cold coming on, but then I also started having a fever and coughing a lot. I decided to take a PCR test and lo and behold I tested positive for Covid-19.

After a week of rest I am now negative but finding out I was positive, triggered me to think of death and remember that some day we will all die. I thought for a brief moment, “will this be my time?”.

But, I quickly dismissed the thought since I am a healthy man and have learned that “Omicron”, though highly contagious, isn’t as dangerous as “Delta” or the other previous variants of Coivd-19. Even still, the thought of death was there.

However, I have used it as a source of inspiration to spur me on to take massive action on my dreams, goals and ambitions.

I urge you to remember “Memento Mori” throughout your daily life and allow it to inspire you to take action on your dreams as well.

The late Steve Jobs put it best when he said,

“Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.”

“Memento Mori”.

Remind yourself that you will die one day. Now live your life knowing this fact and make each moment count.

The Power Of Thinking

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Thinking is something that we all do. Some more than others.

Due to quarantine, many of us have been confined to our homes and have been spending a lot more time with ourselves. This can be a Godsend or torture for some. As French philosopher Blaise Pascal famously said,

the biggest problem for a man is that he cannot sit quietly in a room by himself

Lately, I’ve been learning more about Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest electricians and inventors in human history. Tesla was a man who thought through his inventions, performing calculations in his mind and visualized his invention fully completed in his mind before working on it.

Edison on the other hand was a man who believed in trial and error through experiments. After Edison’s death Tesla had this to say about Edison, “With a little more thought and calculation all his extra effort would have been been able to be avoided”.

You see, there is much value in thinking, whether that be creatively, analytically or just thinking. Many of the great so called “geniuses” or “savants” in history were thinkers and would often think or daydream about issues and had solutions to a problem come in flashes of thought. Tesla, Albert Einstein, Elon Musk, Steve Jobs were some of these “thinkers”.

Personally for me, I find thinking to be super helpful as well.

For example, yesterday I went for a walk in the woods with my family, sat quietly by a lake and just found myself lost in deep thought. During my moment of quietude I thought about the trees, life, the vastness of nature, the healing power of nature, breathed in the fresh air, felt deep gratitude for being alive, being able to experience this moment with my family. I was able to enter this trance like state where all my worries, fears and doubts evaporated and all I had to do was enjoy the present moment. I then went to play with my wife and son in the flowing stream. I even floated, hearing the under water sounds of the rock sediments and water flowing together in unison. It was pure bliss and I was truly at peace. In that moment, I realized how simple life was.

I thought about nothing when floating, but when I got out of the water I thought about what I felt, the sounds I heard while floating, how it all relates to life.

Essentially, this time I was able to spend with my thoughts and reflect in the woods and in the water allowed me to reduce my blood pressure, be at total peace, and just be. It allowed me to not take life so seriously and move forward by flowing through life in a more peaceful, carefree and simple way.

In one of my favorite books, Think And Grow Rich, author, Napoleon Hill, interviews some of the most successful men in history and shares that these men all had a “white hot burning desire” for their goals, visualized themself achieving it. They even formed masterminds, which is a group of people coming together to share ideas with one another in hopes of assisting each other in their pursuit.

Hill said,

Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve

Albert Einstein, would often daydream and find himself lost in thought. He famously said,

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them

Einstein calls on us to create our problems rationally, and solve them creatively. To do so requires changing established thinking patterns, and switching into a creative state of mind. And this leads perfectly into his other famous quote,

imagination Is More Important Than Knowledge

Elon Musk mentioned he loves showers and does most of his “thinking” in the shower. He feels “it’s where I get most of my big ideas and solutions to problems. I don’t know why but something about showers that just relaxes me and allows me to generate a flow of ideas.”

Steve Jobs was a big fan of walks and would often take long walks to just think and boost his creativity.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to just think?

Stand guard in the garden of your mind

Stand guard in the garden of your mind
Photo by Jan Canty on Unsplash

In life, you will encounter people who will bring you down, criticize you, dislike you, verbally abuse you, etc. These are truly toxic people. They are poisonous and must be avoided or removed from your life at all costs. Thus, you must stand guard in the garden of your mind.

Stand Guard In the Garden Of Your Mind

If you were to envision yourself as a farmer who relies on his garden for healthy food and good nutrition you would be sure to treat your garden as the precious thing it is. You would water it, fertilize it, provide fresh soil, and closely monitor it on a daily basis. Now if you were to envision your mind as your garden you would be sure to be extremely cautious of what you allow to enter your mind. You would only allow positive thoughts and positive vibrations to enter. You would eat healthy, nutritious foods and drink a lot of water.

However, people often forget that people can also be just as negative, toxic and literally poisonous to their minds. In fact, it is often believed that you are the average of the five people you hang around the most. This is why you must be aware of who you spend your time with. If for some reason someone gives off a bad vibe toward you or may appear to act passive aggressive toward you, you must avoid any contact with that person or remove them from your life. These types of people are truly poisonous and will bring your energy down faster than you can blink.

Life is too short to be hanging around people who don’t believe in you, bring your energy down and who just simply don’t like you.

This relates so well to one of my favorite quotes:

“Not one ounce of my self worth depends on your acceptance of me.”

Quincy Jones

Dealing With Toxic People In My Life

In my own life, I’ve encountered toxic people who have brought my energy down, who have acted passive aggressively toward me, were jealous of my successes and who have shown they simply don’t like me. These people have been strangers, acquaintances, friends and even family.

What was my solution?

First of all, I listened to their criticism of me, viewed it objectively and if there was some truth in their criticism I researched how I can get better in that area. Often times their criticism was untrue and for these people, I simply avoided contact with them or simply cut them out of my life.

As Joel Osteen says, you must

“Own your environment. Your environment is your kingdom and so you must own your kingdom. God created you as a king. Put up your wall and don’t allow any negativity to enter”.

As kings and queens of our lives, we must rule our selves, our environment and our days.

I understand it may be difficult to cut off close friends or family, but is your peace, happiness and fulfillment more important or is satisfying someone else’s more important?

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

-Eleanor Roosevelt

What Is Your Peace, Happiness, and Fulfillment Worth?

For me, any relationship whether blood related or not is not worth my peace, happiness and fulfillment. I have experienced this far too many times and in the end I am always the one to suffer. Experience has taught me that to live my best life, to become the greatest version of myself and in order to have a positive impact on humanity I must eradicate these toxic people from my life. If you cannot completely remove them from your life, like if they are family, you must simply avoid any and all communication with them. If communication is a must then keep it short and sweet and move the fuck on.

Lastly, I’ll leave you with this quote:

“Don’t let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It’s your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don’t let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality — not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others’ prescribed path. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being. Adventure.” – Roy T. Bennett

Feeling of Uneasiness During Quarantine

For sometime now I have had this feeling of uneasiness within me. This uneasiness has stemmed from wanting to continue to play Professional Basketball overseas, but due to the pandemic I have not been able to continue living my dreams. Fortunately, I have continued doing what I love and have created a business out of my passion by training kids of all ages with one on one training and group training. Also, I have continued with my Basketball and weight lifting training.

Surprisingly, after many meditation sessions and periods of reflection I have come to the stark realization that deep down inside I really want to become the best in the world at something entirely different than just becoming “the greatest overseas Basketball player in history”. This has been a goal of mine for many years but I have come to realize that this goal is quite limiting and does not actually serve the greater good of humanity. With that in mind, I have decided that I would like to make a positive impact as entrepreneur within the health and fitness industry as well as a writer.

To be totally honest, the GOAT in Basketball is arguably Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant. And if you don’t know I am neither 6’6″ or 6″7″ and have not accomplished what they have when they were at my current age. After reflecting on this, I kept thinking and asking myself: how can I embrace my natural God given gifts, talents, abilities and make the greatest positive, useful impact on the world and as a result become one of the greatest in history in my particular domain.

My answer: utilize my incredible athletic abilities such as my speed, quickness, shredded physique, love of people, ability to connect with anyone, charm, my looks, writing abilities, work ethic, ideas, loving heart, desire to help humanity, desire to become the greatest of all time at something, etc.

This has been what was on my mind for the past year now. I have wrestled with thoughts of just getting on a plane and continuing my pursuit of greatness as an overseas Basketball player or building out my legacy with my business here in America. With everything going on in the world as far as the pandemic, my age, my accomplishments thus far, my realizations and awakening to the idea that I have not tapped into my God given abilities, I have decided to build my athleticism/physique, my business and through these two paths I will have a much greater chance of having the impact I would like to have on humanity as well as becoming one of the greats in my domain.

Thus, this explains my feeling of uneasiness and now I can honestly say I am at greater peace with myself and the world with having this awareness and can now move forward in my pursuit of greatness.

It is my hope that you too will take the time to reflect on your path in life and come to your own awakening and either continue on your path or redirect your focus, time, and energies on a path more aligned with how you want to make your mark on the world.

Staying Centered In The Midst of Chaos

Photo by S Migaj on Unsplash

Lately, I’ve been thinking about this idea of staying centered in the midst of chaos. As a Father to a 20 Month Old baby boy, Husband, Business Owner, Basketball Skills Trainer, Athlete, there’s only so many hours in the day for me to be able to accomplish my dreams, goals and ambitions. Also, as a type A obsessive, overachiever I tend to want and need to be able to achieve all if not the majority of goals that I set out for myself. For example, I’ve recently been focusing all of my focus, energy and time on my Basketball Skills Training business called Invincilete Basketball Academy. If you took a look at my Google Calendar you would see that my day is pretty much filled up in blocks on 1 hour sessions with either one on one training or group training. This exhausting schedule has left little time for me to pursue my other goals and passions. Prime example is this blog. As you may have noticed, I have not written in nearly 2 and half months. That’s in large part due to my new business.

Also, I have not been able to train as much as I’d like to, although I have trained for several days in a row recently so my ability to fit in my training is coming back strong. Most importantly, however, I haven’t been able to spend as much time with my family as I’m always working. But you know what? That’s okay. You see, there are periods in life where you must sacrifice in order to move forward. It is especially during these times where life will appear and may very well be in chaos. But that’s ok. It is this exact action of getting out of my comfort zone that will allow me to grow and make the biggest impact on my family’s life. Thus, as I have now gotten a good grasp of my Basketball skills training schedule, effort required, necessary recovery protocols I can now add in another passion and dream of mine that I would like to bring to life.

To better understand what I mean, I’ll give you an analogy. Envision for a moment that you are a spinner at a circus. And you in particular are a spinner who can spin multiple plates at once. Each plate that you are spinning represents a goal, passion or dream you have in life.

For me, the current plate that I am spinning is my Basketball Skills Training business. Since this “plate” is now spinning easily, I can now attempt to spin a second “plate”, which for my case will be, my Online Marketing Business called “Achieve Visibility”. I actually have had this business for 10 years but have put it on the back burner for several years as I wanted to focus on my true calling and passions in life. But a client recently called me asking for help and loved the work we had done for him I decided to help him grow his business as one of my passions and goals in life is to help people by changing their lives for the better and specifically helping people do what they do best, better. In addition, I will be adding a third plate very soon which would be growing our Social Media presence for our Invincilete Basketball Academy and overall Invincilete Brand, which includes Fitness, Personal Training, Basketball, Weight Loss, Muscle Gain, Habit Formation etc. So, as you can clearly see there is a lot on my plate currently but a lot more plates that I will be spinning soon.

But what I’ve learned is to stay centered in the midst of chaos. And the way I do that is through prayer, gratitude, exercise, meditation, taking a day off without technology, getting out in nature, taking a short trip with my family and spending quality time with my family.

My hope is that you too will find what helps you stay centered in the midst of chaos. Once you find it, please share with us your discoveries so that we can learn what works for each other because what works for one person may not work for another and perhaps maybe, just maybe, your technique will ignite that spark for someone finally that something which helps them get back to their center.

Wish you the best on your journey.

Seek Discomfort

Sherpa-Woman-Porter-MountEverest
Photo by Graham Covington on Unsplash

Every success that I have ever achieved in my life, has come from some form of discomfort, pain, failure, or challenge. One of my favorite quotes that I live by is from, Sivaprakash Sidhu,

Everything you want is on the other side of your comfort zone and the other side is fear

Also, another one of my favorites is from Ross Perro,

Success is on the razor’s edge of failure

Discomfort is something that we are all faced with everyday. The decision of whether to exercise or just push it off until tomorrow. The decision to make that tough phone call or have that difficult conversation ripe with conflict and confrontation. The decision to stop that habit, that vice that we know deep down inside is taking us slowly farther and farther away from our goal, from who we truly are.

You see, I’m sure you resonated with one or all of the examples I just mentioned above. The reason is because, as humans, we are all wired to seek safety, comfort, stability and once we have it, our fight or flight reptilian brain shuts off and leaves us to enjoy our life filled with pleasure, fun and laziness.

Although, from the outside it may look all happy and full of rainbows, nothing could be further from the truth.

There’s only so much comfort, food and pleasure you can enjoy until you become numb to it and start to ask yourself those existential questions of:

Why am I here?
Is this all there is?
Am I living my purpose?
Am I making an impact in someones else’s life?

It is this intersection in life, where you are met with two significant decisions: do I continue down this path of this continuous cycle of pleasure seeking, gluttony, over indulging in your favorite unhealthy foods, watching too much Netflix, porn addiction, masturbation, meaningless sex, etc.

Take this morning, for example, I did not want to get up, because I was so tired from my baby boy waking up every 5 minutes about 10 times in the middle of the night, disrupting my deep REM sleep. On top of that, my body was sore from my previous day’s workout. Oh man, trust me, I wanted to go back to sleep. But I got up, and fed my son his breakfast, put him in his play pen, had my cup of coffee and banged out a quick workout.

Another example, was me working on my vertical jump. It was freezing cold outside at 20 degrees and snow was beginning to fall. I could have easily told myself, to just wait for tomorrow when it’s nicer but I sucked it up and went out to the field with my hurdles and worked out for 3 hours in the cold.

Interesting thing that happened was while driving in my car to the field, I felt myself getting warm and cozy. But because of my habit seeking discomfort and my intense desire to workout, I wanted to get out of the car and back into the cold to start my workout as fast as possible. I did not want to remain comfortable, because I know how enticing and entrapping that can be.

It’s kind of like Mel Robbins’ 5 second rule in her book: The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage

From her research, Mel found that you typically have 5 seconds until you decide to act or not act on something.

During her depression of risking and losing her children’s college savings fund for her husband’s “potential” success of the expansion of his restaurants, to then filing for bankruptcy, buried in debt, having debt collectors call her house, and not wanting to get out of bed, Mel had this epiphany one day watching the launch of a rocket.

She thought to herself, “rockets always have a countdown and use all their force to get off the ground and out of Earth’s orbit. What if I did the same thing in my life?”

And so the 5 second rule was born. Mel would count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 in her head and get out of bed like a rocket and take on her day like the warrior she is.

Guess what?

She’s grown her children’s savings fund much more than before, climbed out of debt, grew a successful business of her own, and has never been happier.

In fact, I’ve implemented this into my life and I have to say it’s been a game changer. I use it getting out of bed, cold showers, working out to get that extra 2-3 reps, when I’m playing ball, working on my business, hesitant to make an important phone call, etc.

Seeking discomfort is about controlled chaos. Controlled chaos is when you create a difficult challenge, environment, or situation for yourself where it’s super hard to complete a task but you push through and do it anyway. Seeking discomfort, is also about seeing reality for what it is, embracing the pain of the moment and getting through your ordeal no matter what.

Right now, you may be thinking to yourself that I like or am obsessed with discomfort.

Honestly, I’m not and hate discomfort as much as the next guy. But I am obsessed with beating my my mind, growing everyday, results and achieving my wildest dreams.

If that’s what you call obsessed, then yes I am obsessed. But as Tim Grover says in his book Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable

you have to become obsessed to achieve greatness.

So, make it a daily habit to seek discomfort.

You will find that over time, discipline will take over and you will automatically be doing the uncomfortable, important things in your life and not even be able to recognize the new you.

I’ve experienced this myself many times and have seen it happen to many people over and over and over again.

Get out of your comfort zone, face your deepest, darkest fears, and seek discomfort. Everything you want is waiting for you on the other side.

What will you do today to seek discomfort?

Sonam

Don’t Be Afraid to Pursue Things You Are Unqualified For

Photo by Benjamin Wedemeyer on Unsplash

We hear it all the time. Stick to only your strengths and pursue what you are qualified to do.

I do believe this is true for many situations in life, as it is wise to double down on your gifts, however, there are also times when you can be successful at something you’ve never tried in your life.

Dan Carlin, the well known political commentator and podcaster for his show, called, Hardcore History, also shares this belief when he said, “Don’t be afraid to pursue things you are unqualified for”. He’s been quoted to say,

Amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic

In an interview with Tim Ferriss in Tools Of Titans, Naval Ravikant once said to his brother, Kamal Ravikant,

If I had always done what I was ‘qualified’ to do, I’d be pushing a broom somewhere.

Also, Indian Billionaire and Space Explorer, Naveen Jain, states, “try different ventures. Many times those who have no experience in a certain field will come with fresh new ideas, figure out ways more experienced people would never have even thought of and beat out 30 year veterans in an industry.”

You ever heard the saying, “you don’t know what you don’t know”? For someone brand spanking new to a certain industry, they don’t know what they don’t know. Being all bright eyed and bushy tailed has some benefit behind it after all, as it carries a sort of naivety and at the same time a sense of wonderment, intense curiosity, imagination and desire to learn all there is to know about their topic of interest.

If you have a burning passion for something but don’t fully believe you can be successful at it, do it anyway. Dan Carlin says, “I didn’t think I could be a historian because I didn’t have a Doctorate. But when my grandmother asked me, Do the historians you know have a Doctorate? I said no and realized they simply just did it and told a story of history from their own knowledge and viewpoint.”

So don’t think you always need to be qualified to do well at something. Heck, there are many overqualified people who apply for jobs and get turned down all the time because they are overqualified.

If you have an itch, for God sakes, scratch that itch and see where that leads you. We’ve heard the cliche over and over but it’s true: life is too short. It’s too short to live a safe life. You only have one shot so you might as well take the risks on your dreams because if you don’t you will live with regret for the rest of your life.

And if you fail, who cares, you get back up, get a job and try something else you love to do on the side.

Prime example, is myself.

I had a dream of playing Professional Basketball since I was a little boy. I played from the age of 9 through Varsity Basketball in High School at St. Peter’s Prep. I got a couple D 3 offers but I ended up forgoing those opportunities to try walk on to Rutgers, a D1 Basketball Program.

I ended not making the team, but guess what?

I kept playing throughout college in leagues and worked on my game.

After college, I played Semi-Pro Ball for 2 years, then went to Vegas got an agent, tried out for a Mongolian Basketball League tryout and got my first Pro contract to play in the Mongolian National Basketball Association (MNBA).

Some would say I was unqualified, since I didn’t play college ball but I believed in myself, had a burning desire to play Pro Ball, worked on my game for hours on end, learned from Pros and took a chance on my dream.

After playing in the MNBA I went on to play Basketball for my Nepalese National Team, in India, Thailand, etc. winning a Bronze Medal in the 2016 South Asian Games in Bangalore, India.

I was unqualified but I made it happen.

I understand if you have a family to take care of, this will be more difficult, but even then it doesn’t mean you give up on your dreams. No, you work harder, work smarter and make more sacrifices in order to make your dream a reality.

For example, I have a Wife and Son now.

Does that mean I’m giving up on my dreams?

Absolutely not! I

In fact, it’s made me more disciplined, happier, grateful, inspired and driven to achieve several of my wildest dreams.

Take writing and storytelling for instance. I have become better at being more consistent and writing every other day and sometimes every day for weeks at a time.

Of course, with a newborn that first year is the toughest and boy was it ever. Yes, there were ups and downs, sacrifices we had to make, putting our child first. There were many times where my needs were secondary and writing, working out, playing Basketball took a backseat.

But my wife and I worked together and made it through. For those times I had to give time to my son, I got back up on the chair and wrote in the early mornings or whenever I had time. I worked out when he slept or did mini-workouts during little pockets of time throughout the day, banging out 30 pushups here, 30 situps there, 30 dips, etc.

Point is I had made it happen. I executed on my dreams and put one foot in front of the other one step at a time.

Elon Musk, himself, didn’t know much about Rockets and when asked how he learned about Rockets, he says,

I learned from books, some of the smartest people in the space industry, and had a basic physics background

What are you so passionate about yet are unqualified for?

Do that thing.

Don’t be afraid to pursue things you are unqualified for.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Don’t allow fear to stop you from living your wildest dreams.

We are all cheering for you and cannot wait to hear your triumph and success story.

Love,
Sonam

Be Useful — Make Your Life Worth Living

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

One of the entrepreneurs I look up to is none other than, Elon Musk. Elon believes that

We must be useful to other people. Whether that be a big impact impacting a small amount of people or a small impact benefiting a large amount of people, either way this is useful.

I’ve written extensively about a similar topic titled, Create Something of value Or Solve a Pressing World Problem to Positively Impact Humanity and Generations to Come, which I encourage you to read. However, listening to Elon talk about the simple task of being useful to others in some way hit me in a different way and made me want to add my own point of view.

Before we can even begin to help others and be useful to others, we must first be useful to who?

Right, ourself.

What do the air hostesses say on an airplane, “in case of an emergency, please put your oxygen mask on first and then on others.”

You can only fill another cup when your cup is full.

What does being useful to yourself mean?

Well, it can mean a variety of things, such as:

  1. Having a positive relationship with yourself, giving yourself positive self talk and remaining optimistic about any situation
  2. Giving yourself tough love when it’s needed
  3. Eating the proper healthy diet for yourself and exercising
  4. Letting go of anger, hate, jealousy, regret
  5. Feeding your mind
  6. Incorporating the right habits such as meditation, reading, writing, etc.
  7. Forgiving yourself and reminding yourself that you are human
  8. Loving yourself unconditionally
  9. Harmoniously connecting your mind, body and soul as one

Life is a never ending journey and on this journey you will always have yourself, so love yourself and help yourself.

Once you’ve done that you can then become useful to others.

You see, being useful to others can mean going out there and creating something so grandiose that it lights up the whole world, providing light to even the most impoverished remote areas on Earth. It could mean providing fresh clean drinking water in places where there is no fresh clean drinking water. It could mean finding a cure for a disease that has, in the past, killed anyone whose ever faced it before.

Or it could simply mean, helping an old lady with her groceries, providing food for the homeless, starting a school in a poor remote village, providing financial help for your family, or simply saying “I love you” to a family member or friend.

No matter, if your good deed is big or small it is still being useful to others.

For me, family is everything. When I think of the word useful, aside from helping humanity, one of the first things that comes to mind is, “how can I be useful for my family?” This could mean, when my family is trying to solve a pressing problem or may need some financial help, I want to be the one to step up and help them. I want to be the one in the family that they can turn to when they need help, in any sort of way.

When I was younger, being useful meant getting good grades, taking care of my brothers, setting a good example for them, excelling at sports, helping my parents with our grocery store etc.

Later on, after getting my first job out of college, being useful meant giving $3,000 per month, every single month for 4-5 years, straight, from my bank account to my parents to help pay for our mortgage. I didn’t see this money nor did I care, because this was the least I could do to being to repay my Mom and Dad for all the hard work, blood, sweat, and tears that they sacrificed so that my brothers and I can live a privileged life.

Now, as a Husband and Father, my responsibility to be useful has heightened to a much higher level. For me, being useful now means providing for my wife and son, making sure there’s enough food on the table, a roof over our heads, health insurance, opportunity fun activities, being able to go on family trips, having the resources to purchase things we want but not going into excess and getting carried away by material possessions.

In addition to my wife and son, my responsbility for being useful extends to taking care of my Mom, Dad, and two brothers. I still to this day assist with our mortgage on our second house and strive to financially and physically help my parents and brothers with whatever they may need. Granted, there have been times when I couldn’t, such as when my son was born or when I got laid off from my job due to Covid.

However, when I am able, it is my duty to be useful to my family. It is when I am useful that I am most happy. If I cannot help my family, I am miserable and sad. There is much truth in the saying from one of my biggest mentors, Tony Robbins, in that,

The secret to living is giving.

And from the inspiring, Joel Osteen,

Keep in mind that you’ll have true happiness, true fulfillment, not living to get but living to give.

Apart from being useful to myself and my family, my other big dream and goal is to be useful to others in our world. This has taken shape in the form of my writing to inspire others to purse their dreams, through donating to underprivileged kids in Nepal, providing money to our monks in Nepal, New York. Also, I’ve offered advice to young kids, high school students, college students, and post college students on life, career advice, passion discovery, navigating life’s struggles and much more.

In the future, I have plans to possibly invent something useful for humanity, help in solving a major world issue, and assist in making our world a multi-planetary space faring civilization, but that’s far off into the future. For now, it is the simple I will focus on simple acts of being useful.

So I encourage you to find a way you can be useful, no matter how small or how big. Just lead and give with your heart.

Give without any expectation of anything in return.

Use whatever resources you have with you right now. Trust me, you have something to give to the world, even with what you have right now. It doesn’t always have to be financial either.

Share your gifts and knowledge with the world. Who knows, what you possess, may help saves someone’s life or inspire them to pursue their dreams. You just never know.

Let us all be useful to ourselves and to others.

Sonam

Struggles of Raising a Baby, Growing a Business, & Staying Fit

All throughout my life I’ve been fit and lean. However, as a new Dad struggling to grow my business during the COVID-19 quarantine, I’ve had little to no time to workout. Partly due to my late rising time. Upon waking up, it’s straight to changing my son’s diapers, reading his favorite “Potty” book like 9 times, then keeping him entertained, and around 9:30 am breakfast time.

Lately, he hasn’t been sleeping much and as such has fallen into an inconsistent wake schedule. Sometimes he’ll wake at 2 am then go back to sleep after getting breast fed or somtimes wake up at 4:30 am then back to sleep, someitmes 6:30 and sometimes 9:30 am like today.

So as you can see, his schedule is quite all over the place. As per me staying fit, well that’s been kind of tossed to the side. Prime example, right now I just got called in from Mom to pick him up from bed as it is now 9:36 am and the Prince is now awake! Daddy reporting for duty! haha

Phew! Ok just picked him up from Mommy and boy was he grumpy waking up. I had to yank him from nibbling on Mommy’s breast. As we made our way to the diaper changing table, he just wasn’t having it, so I took a detour into the bathroom where he loves staring at himself, like Daddy, and then looking at his duckies in the bathtub. Boy does he love his duckies and bathtub.

After he settled down for a bit, I distracted him with a baby wipe to play with and then was able to successfully change his diapers. After somehow being able to distract with him toys in his crib, I am back at the computer now. This by the way is rare so milking this time for all it’s worth.

Anywho, these days, I’ve been sleeping around 1- 2 am with the wife watching 100 Movies To Watch Before You Die, the latest Netflix Shows, The Office, etc. And as a result have been waking up around 9:30, 10:30.

Usually, I’m an early riser, who takes care of the baby in the mornings. However, my wife has been taking care of him early mornings and then I takeover to allow her to catch up on her sleep. You would think, I would have time during his two hour naps, and you would be right. But the only thing is that that time is devoted to my business. And when he wakes up it’s back to taking care of my baby boy as Mommy prepares his lunch.

So what’s my solution for Staying Fit?

It’s something I like to call “the anytime anywhere short 90 rep workout”, formerly known as “mini-workouts“. I essentially, just bust out 30 pushups, 30 dips and 30 ab crunches. Or one of these exercises any chance I get when he’s not crying or needing attention. 5-10 minutes later I bus out another superset of each exercise.

After finishing my last circuit, I then progress to 30 high knees, 30 jumping jacks, 30 leg raises, 30 squats etc for another round of 3 sets, spread out over the next 1 hour or throughout the day when I get a chance.

This sort of mini-workout has worked wonders in allowing me to stay lean and fit. You don’t think of it at first, but the small amounts of work you are putting in add up over time. It may not seem like much, but if you calculated for the day I completed: 90 pushups, 90 dips, and 90 Crunches, 90 high knees, 90 jumping jacks and 90 leg raises, 90 squats. Not to mention, all the walking around the house, bending down to pick up his toys, change his clothes, pick him up and down, playing with him. It’s a full body workout.

My other solution, is to continue my usual early rising schedule of around 5 am – 6 am to get that “me time” back to focus solely on myself in the morning . Doing this will allow me to fill my cup full so that I could pour my love, energy and time into the cups of those whom I love dearly.

Benefits of Waking Up Early

Also, the wee mornings of the day are my “magic time“, the best time of time where I produce my best work as my mind, body and soul are at it’s freshest. This is the time where I’m able to think much more clearly, solve problems, write higher quality material, as well as write twice as much than any other part of the day, and simply create high quality work, sometimes world class work.

Another interesting side benefit of getting back to my early rising schedule, this will allow me to get a full workout in our garage gym when he naps, as I would have completed a decent amount of work that I would have otherwise been working on had I stuck with my usual late night escapades.

This may eliminate the need for mini-workouts. But I don’t think it will completely, as on the days I’m resting, I could use that time as active recovery and incorporate my mini-workouts or on days I just can’t carve out a full hour or hour and a half workout I will be able to implement my min-workouts.

I will keep you all updated.

If you’ve read up until this point, thank you all so very much.

I hope this post gave you a glimpse into the world of a new dad struggling to care for his baby boy, grow his struggling business and try to squeeze in workouts to stay healthy and fit as well.

As you now know, it’s not easy, but it’s all so worth it. Fall in love with the process and just flow.

And as I’ve said in a previous post, “success must not be pursued, it must ensue.”

I wish you all good health, happiness and prosperity.

In whatever you can, stay fit and stay healthy.

We got this!

Best,
Sonam

My Appendix Ruptured – I Almost Died

Photo by Žygimantas Dukauskas on Unsplash

It was late one night.

I had just come back from my second awesome workout of the day at the Blink Fitness gym down the street in Woodside, Queens, where I lived at the time with my Fiance. 

I felt fine and full of energy as usual. My plan was to get more Vegan protein at the nearest GNC.

My wife, however, was enjoying her time with her aunt and since I hadn’t eaten anything all day she was adamant that I eat something.

So I went up to her aunt’s house and had an omelette. I didn’t think anything of it but after showering and getting ready for bed, I felt a sharp shooting pain on the right side of my abdomen like I’ve never felt before in my life. I chalked it up to a stomach ache or some cold air entering my belly, which is normal.

But that next morning I could not get up out of bed and either way I turned the pain was still there and growing worse and worse. 

The pain hurt so bad it felt as if someone was repeatedly punching me in my stomach and then taking knives and carving out my insides. 

The pain was so sharp and came in 3–5 minute waves.

Unfortunately, I had just started a new job at WebMD and was in my first week on the job so this was definitely bad timing. Nevertheless, I continued to work and on the 3rd day, for some reason, they had the air condition blasted high and this made my stomach pain much worse.

I was literally bent over at my computer struggling to sit up straight, let alone type anything.

I was also very hungry as I feverishly typed on Google what the best foods were for stomach pain or appendicitis. I saw soup and crackers, so I went to Hale & Hearty and got some delicious hot Chicken Noodle soup. Boy was that delicious. 

For the next several days Hale & Hearty was my go to spot. It wasn’t too heavy. It was light and just right.

On the 7th day of my pain, I couldn’t take it anymore and went to the West 57th CityMD on my lunch break. I was taken care of by Dr. Margolis, who mentioned that I had an “inflamed filemon”. 

He scared me but gave it to me straight, when he said, 

Mr. Lama, I am going to be frank with you. In all my years of practicing, I’ve never seen an appendix this inflamed. I urge you to go to the ER now and get this taken care of. I do not mean to scare you but this is a serious situation.

Man, hearing those words just made me anxious and scared of how bad my condition was.

Immediately after, I called my Mother, then my Uncle and just cried because I was in so much pain.

Being the experienced and calm person he is, my Uncle calmed me down, told me everything will be alright and just go to Bellevue Hospita,l as it is one of the oldest hospitals and one in which many of our “Himalayan” people go to, since they provide high quality service at an affordable rate. So off I went.

There I was lying on a hospital bed in the ER at Bellevue Hospital. You would not believe the different walks of life that came through there with their various conditions. From drug addicts to bloody victims of gun violence to mentally ill patients. The ER was a wild place.

I was seen after about an hour and was sent in for a CAT scan. The results came back and the doctor told me that my appendix had ruptured inside me and that I would have to stay in the hospital for the next few days to stop it from spreading to my internal organs.

Boy I have to admit, this was scary. From my research of appendicitis I knew that if it ruptures and spreads to your internal organs, it creates something called “Sepsis”, which can be deadly.

I saw my life flash before my eyes and immediately told my Mom, 

Mom, I don’t want to die. I haven’t done enough to help and give back to humanity. There’s so much more I have to do 

To which she replied, 

Son, calm down, you will be fine. The Doctors will take care of you

The uncertainty of my fate was literally killing me.

As I got transferred to my hospital bed, I began to think about my life up to this point. 

I thought of what may have caused my appendix to rupture and immediately felt that it was due to my excessive intake of beef, apple cider vinegar, lemon, dehydration from too much coffee, too little water, overtraining and of course the last meal I ate before this all transpired, which was the omelette at my wife’s aunt’s place that could have been old.

I thought of my family, friends, my dreams, not achieving some of my goals I set out for myself, not being able to give back in the way I wanted to for humanity, my failures, my successes, etc.

As for the pain, it was still there. I must say after taking the various antibiotics and talking with my Doctor, it got better. However, those few days of not knowing if I needed to go into surgery to remove my appendix were so stressful. 

But once I learned that the antibiotics had worked and that my body had created a wall and stopped the spread into my internal organs I was so relieved.

My worst fear had subsided and I no longer needed surgery.

As the days went on, there were times where I would have a bowel movement and think it was blood but getting the reassurance from the Doctor that it was just the strawberry jello I had eaten made me feel relieved. 

Seeing my family and friends during visiting hours made me feel loved and cared.

But above all, my biggest support was my wife, who was 7 months pregnant with our baby boy, Kundun. She sat by my side, slept in the hospital chair, got me breakfast, brought me books to read, puzzle games to play, holding me while I practiced walking again ever so slowly around the hospital ward. 

Her warm hugs and loving kisses were the best treatment I could have asked for. She got me through and reassured me that everything would be fine throughout our journey.

In total, I was in the hospital for 6 days. I lost about 15 pounds and looked as weak as ever. 

But once I was discharged from the hospital, I felt so relieved and free.

Several weeks later during my follow up visit, I was told that I had the option to either remove my appendix or forego the surgery as my body had walled off the spread. 

I then asked my Doctor what the long term effects might be and she mentioned that there is a very rare chance that it could be an early sign of cancer but she was quite confident that it was not and was actually just an inflamed appendix, which had ruptured. 

As per working out, she went on to prescribe that I must not do any strenuous intense workouts for at least 1 month, preferably 2 months because if I continued my usual intense training sessions I could cause a tear in my appendix and it could rupture again, this time possibly much worse.

In those first several months into recovery, I was led into discovering, Vippasana Meditation, taught by the late, SN Goenka. This was a Godsend, as I was able to heal myself from within, focusing on where the pain was, not judging it, letting it just be and allowing it to release from my body.

After a year later, I am happy to report that I am healthy, happy, working and training harder than I’ve ever had.

However, I urge you to please not do what I did by trying to tough it out, because as you now know, this could have been deadly had I not gone to the hospital and learned that my appendix had actually ruptured inside my body.

My final message is this: if you or someone you know is experiencing severe pain in your abdomen or any part of your body, please consult a doctor or visit your nearest hospital or urgent care.

Your life could very well depend on it.

Think of the hardest working people you know…now work harder.

Think of the hardest working people you know…now work harder.

For me, it’s my two biggest heroes – my Mom and my Dad.

They are hands down the hardest working people that I know. They are unbelievable. They are simply super human. Their work ethic fascinates me to this day.

You see, my mother grew up in Kathmandu, Nepal and worked as a house maid for her own family since the age of 7. Think Cinderella, her life as a house maid for her own family and the treatment she received from her Stepmother, Lady Tremaine, and two step sisters, Anastasia and Drizella.

That was my mother’s life almost identical from the time her biological mother, my Grandmother, past away until she was around 19 years of age. Thankfully, she chose my Dad among several other suitors in their sort of arranged/love marriage and we three traveled together for a better life in America.

As the hard working woman she is, my mother immediately went into work after just a few months in America, working at a jewelry store in the Flatiron building on 23rd street.

Guess what?

She even worked while pregnant with my brother, Pema, in her belly. And to make matters even worse she was held at gunpoint while pregnant at the jewelry store where she worked. As my mother feared for her life she cried, “Please don’t shoot me, I am pregnant!” Miraculously the gun man had some bit of heart and decency inside him as he took the money and ran.

After this incident and a fallout with her boss, who did not appreciate all the hard work she put in to her business, my mother decided to start her own business. It was our infamous Monroe Corner Grocery Store on 2nd and Monroe Street in my hometown, Hoboken, NJ.

My Mom and Dad ran our successful grocery store business for 16 years. During this time, they would work 14 hours a day everyday for 16 years. They never took off and they would work even when they were so tired and sleepy. While pregnant with my both my brothers, she would go shopping to Jetro and to our various wholesale vendors in New York City to restock our shelves and inventory.

During the winter, my Dad would suffer from cracks in his hand due to the cold and washing his hands constantly with soap due to the fact he was constantly receiving and giving money to customers. My Dad even was held at gun point while working and was jumped by 2 guys outside of our store and was sent to the hospital. My parents worked so hard to provide a better life for my brothers and I.

As a former village boy in Junbesi, Solukhumbu and British Soldier, my father had cultivated these habits and unique set of skills while cooking, cleaning for his family from the age of 9 and fighting for England. He fought in the Faulkland war, in Popou New Guinea, and Argentina.

In fact, there was a story he would tell my brothers and I when we were little. He was in a swamp, pitch black at night infested with huge crocodiles. And all he had with him was his sword, gun and his rucksack. He said he was so scared since all he could see were there bright yellow eyes starting back at him. He was shivering and felt like was going to pee himself because of how scared he was. He and his fellow soldiers felt that they would attack them at any moment. But luckily none did and they made it safely through the swamp.

Currently, my Dad works for a moving company called Oz Moving. Throughout the years, there have been times when he would wake up at 2 am to go to work, work all day until 12 at night. Eat, sleep then wake up at 5 to go do it all over again. This would sometimes be his shift for several months. The guy was a work horse, but he was committed to providing for his family and doing whatever it took to put food on the table for us and allow us to live a pretty comfortable life. But there have also been times when his whole body is hurting from all the heavy lifting he’s had to do while at work and I felt so helpless watching him wince in pain trying to eat his dinner. This sight would break my heart and I would give him a heat pack for his back which would work but only for a hour or so.

At home, he would clean things over and over again until they are shining. He would work on building things for the house.

As for my Mom, to this day she cannot sit still and must always be doing something. After closing our business, she could have easily stayed home living off the money we earned from our store and the money my father earned, but she cannot sit idle twiddling her thumbs at home. And so she became a baby sitter and earned a comfortable living doing that for several years. Unfortunately, due to her job as a nanny and having to stand and walk a lot her left knee has become weak and has made it very painful to walk.

Nevertheless, when at home, if she’s not taking long walks around our town in Secaucus to keep in shape she’s cooking or baking something delicious for our family and friends. In fact, she even holds a position in our Sherpa Kyidug Community Organization which she attends meetings for every week, has donated money to put a young monk through university, donated thousands of dollars worth of clothes to underprivileged kids in Solukhumbu and donated money to our monks living in our Thupten Choling Monastery in Junbesi, Solukhumbu.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, because my Mother and Father taught me the value of hardwork, dedication, kindness, giving, being committed to providing for your family, to not make excuses, to never give up even when hope is gone, always keep pushing even when you’re exhausted as hell.

They’ve been working since they were young kids in Nepal having to deal with rough childhoods and stopping at nothing to provide for their family in a foreign land here in America. They have achieved “The American Dream” of the white picket fence house, sending their kids to the best schools, owning nice cars and giving back to those less privileged.

So, when I think of my Mom and Dad and all the hardwork they’ve put in, which I saw with my own eyes it makes me push harder. And when I’m exhausted and feel I have nothing left in my tank I think of my mother carrying my brothers in her belly, pushing that 300 lb Jetro cart and I think of my Dad working at his moving job carrying huge boxes and find that extra strength and that extra gear within me to push even harder.

My Mother and father are an inspiration to me and my greatest heroes.

I love you so much Mom and Dad.

Thank you.

P.S. Think of the hardest working people you know…now work harder.

Create Something of value Or Solve a Pressing World Problem to Positively Impact Humanity and Generations to Come

Photo by Laura Adai on Unsplash

With the devastation brought on by the novel Coronavirus, this thought and desire of feeling the need to create something of value or solve a pressing problem to positively impact humanity in some way has loomed in my mind everyday.

This thought has been brought on by this question:

when will my time come? When will it be my time to go?

I mean the uncertainty to my life or any human life for that matter is now more unpredictable than ever before in our history.

For these past 10 months, we have all been living in fear.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of our lives and the lives of our loved ones.

The devastation we’ve faced as a race has been some of the most horrific we’ve experienced during any pandemic.

Our lives have been turned upside down and has affected us in so many ways.

What started off as a local virus in a city called Wuhan in China, has forced the world to a standstill and pushed us into a global recession. It’s been quite unsettling and unbelievably challenging.

Fortunately, we are still here and fighting together as a collective race. And as I say in one of my first blog posts, which you can read titled, The Coronavirus (COVID-19), recounting 2020 and our challenging ordeal, ‘this too shall pass’. We will overcome this pandemic as we have done with many other pandemics in the past.

Yet, the fragility of life and the smell of death is ever more familiar. We see it all around us. On the news, on the internet and from mass media at large.

And that is why before I feel so strongly to help humanity in some way. Not for my ego but simply to know that my life meant something and that I used my God given abilities, talents and brilliance in some positive way for the benefit of others.

At 31, I feel like I’ve done a good amount for myself and helped some people, but my wish and dream of helping humanity on a global scale, since I was a kid, has not been realized. And that deeply saddens me.

Sharing ideas, lessons learned and experiences with humanity

So to begin this journey of helping and giving to humanity, this blog has served as a way for me to share my thoughts to help others through their most challenging experiences that I have faced before and were able to overcome.

My other creative outlet that has been on my mind to work on for the last 7 years has been my Youtube channel. I have put that off for so long out of fear of what others might think, out of imposter syndrome, not being enough, not having enough experiences, etc.

But I told myself fuck that!

Enough with the fucking excuses and reasons.

People need help more than ever. Whether that be mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc. Anxiety, mental issues, depression, suicides, unemployment rates have been rising.

In fact, a family friend just attempted to commit suicide due to his depression, but fortunately was caught in the act and rushed to the hospital just in time.

In my native country, Nepal, due to covid there has been a shortage of food and resources all over the country and people are committing suicide by the droves as they feel there is no hope.

So you see I must share my experiences now more than ever and offer to help in some way.

And I also need to empty my cup and share all that I have learned and been through to finally start giving back to a world that has given me so much.

What if one simple idea I share helps them pursue a lifelong passion, take up a forgotten buried hoppy, rekindled a relationship with that special someone or to do something meaningful, anything.

This little idea could have helped them changed their life in some small way which then trickles down into other areas of their life.

This one small simple habit can very well be the catalyst for everything that follows in that person’s life.

In Charles Duhigg’s book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do In Life and Business, he talks about this as a keystone habit. According to Duhigg,

Some habits, matter more than others in re-making businesses and lives. These are “keystone habits” and can influence how people work, eat, play, live, spend and communicate. Keystone habits start a process that, over time, transforms everything. Keystone habits say that success doesn’t depend on getting every single thing right, but instead relies on identifying a few key priorities and fashioning them into powerful levers.

Invention to cure life threatening diseases and illnesses

Several years ago, my focus was just on Basketball and making enough money to live my dreams but now as a Husband and Father it has taken a different turn as I’m responsible for two other human beings as well.

Also, one of my business mentors, Elon Musk, has inspired me as he continues to preach:

In the United States especially, there’s an over allocation of talent in finance and law. Basically too many smart people go into finance and law. So this is both a compliment and a criticism. We should have fewer people doing law and fewer people doing finance and more people making stuff.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/05/07/elon-musk-too-many-smart-people-go-into-finance-and-law.html

What this article fails to mention is that Elon also feels that too many smart people build internet businesses as well.

While I agree with Elon about the need for less smart people going to finance and law, I don’t agree less smart people should create internet companies as he himself built and sold his first company, which happened to be an internet company, called Paypal. It has proven to be valuable as I and millions of others use it even today.

I understand he sold Paypal and poured his millions into more ambitious endeavors such as SpaceX, Tesla, the Boring Company and SolarCity.

Perhaps founders of said internet businesses may be trying to build up capital to one day exit so they too can invest their resources into more ambitious world saving and advancing companies like Elon has done and is doing in present day.

But I do agree we should have more smart people making things as our inventions have slowed drastically compared to inventions in the past like the light bulb, automobile, airplane, etc.

The fact of the matter is that inventions are what prove to be most useful in every day life as well as what would advance humanity into the future.

And for us to combat several of the most threatening issues to our race such as AI, climate change, pollution, sustainable energy ,etc. we will need to come up with unique ways to overcome these grave threats or build enough rockets to transport us to other planets like Mars. We need to make more of that.

Passion for Health + Fitness + Tech = Solving World Issue

Self awareness is a virtue and strength of mine. I am aware that I am a health nut, I love working out to stay in shape for health reasons, longevity and to look good and I love to learn about the latest advancements in technology as well as use said technology in my daily life.

So after asking myself, how can I solve one or more major world issues we face today with the passions that I have?

My mind went straight to health, fitness and technology.

The interesting thing is it doesn’t necessarily need to be the three combined in order for this to work. It can simply be health and tech, health and fitness, fitness Tech, or all three combined.

Whatever combination works to formulate an invention for the greater good of humanity. That is what I’ll go with.

And I know at the core of who I am, I am a creator, an artist. If I don’t create something, anything, one day, I feel uneasy, anxious and frustrated.

So I tell myself the following:

You will help your fellow humans now, push humanity forward, and be happy you helped in some way.

As a side effect or sort of icing on the cake you and whoever involved will surely be rewarded in a huge way since you’ve solved a fundamental human problem that will affect Billions on Earth. But that is not the goal here.

Yes, more capital and resources will simply mean more people I can help but the goals has been and will always be to help push humanity forward.

Do not spend your days merely for personal gain. Of course to provide for your family and to provide for their and your basic human needs you will need to make “enough” money.

But above and beyond that, you don’t need much more to live a happy, comfortable life.

Therefore, you should spend the majority of your days creating something that will solve a big problem to help generations to come.

That would be a meaningful life and give you something to look forward to when you wake up every morning.

I encourage you all to find your meaningful life and help push humanity forward.

Best,
Sonam

Success Cannot Be Pursued, It Must Ensue

Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

I’ve chased success my entire life.

Success is all I thought about. As soon as I opened my eyes in the morning, throughout my daily life, before I went to bed, and even in my dreams.

I was obsessed.

It captured my imagination, focus, energy and every ounce of who I was.

As an immigrant from Nepal, I came to America with my Mom and Dad at 18 months old.

We of course, like most immigrant families, came for the American dream.

And like most immigrants we came with nothing — just $1,000 in our pocket.

And so with a chip on my shoulder as an immigrant, I wanted more for myself, for my family and to alter my family tree so drastically for generations to come. Something that they call “generational wealth”.

However, through my failures and successes in life, study of success and my deep meditation practice of just letting go of everything, I came to the realization that you must attract success and not chase it.

For if you chase it, it will elude you.

After listening to Viktor Frankl’s legendary book, Man’s Search For Meaning, on audible, I came upon his following message,

Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it.

This shook me when I read it for the first time.

I literally had goosebumps climbing up my arms.

It was that powerful.

The reason was because it had crystalized my thoughts that you must attract success not chase it and at the same time it had challenged my lifelong belief that success and happiness were goals that you chased like a mad man or a sniper.

But hearing Frankl’s words completely caused a paradigm shift in my core beliefs that I’ve held since I was a young boy.

I was thankful to receive this message, yet it made me think about my beliefs, experiences, and memories of the struggles I endured pursuing success.

As a type A alpha male with an obsessive personality, when I want something, I will get it.

I will stop at nothing to achieve that thing.

I almost always get what I want, but when I don’t, I become even more obsessed, hustle harder or become angry, confrontational, combative, depressed and then move on to the next closest thing to become obsessed about.

That was me in my earlier years.

As a more mature man now at 31, having lived more life, gotten engaged, and became a Father, I have become much more calm, at peace, and am now seeing the bigger picture of life and of what is most important.

Family, happiness and creating value into the world through my passions are the three most important things for me at this time.

Interestingly, however, success is still something I want. In fact, I want it now more than ever.

However, the difference is that I have chosen to let go of how I have pictured success in my mind to come.

I have released nearly all of my expectations of any situations. I will allow it to unfold in whatever way it will. Accepting it’s various manifestations and being open to clues and hints that I will be given along the way to lean in and follow the call to act.

I have instead chosen to not focus on the end goal but to give myself to my higher purpose in life that is greater than myself.

This purpose is to help create a future where the majority of people find and do the work that sets their soul on fire, to go out and achieve more, be more, dream more, give more and help more.

I understand this will take time and requires me to have long term thinking, for this is what Gary Vaynerchuck calls, “playing the long game.”

Frankl echoes my thoughts when he says,

I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run — in the long-run, I say! — success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.

In my younger years, I was desperate for success and one of my favorite authors, Henry David Thoreau, explains this to be common in, Walden, when he wrote,

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation

I have chosen to not be a part of the mass of men living in quiet desperation.

Instead, I have decided to live in harmony, peace and happiness in working on my higher purpose and doing what I love to do every single day of my life. I encourage you to do the same.

Be the person you want to become. For you are that man or woman already.

You simply need to open yourself to yourself and discover the magic inside you.

But just know, this will take time. It is, after all, a work in progress. Fall in love with the journey and as, His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, teaches,

Have compassion to one self and to others. True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason. Therefore, a truly compassionate attitude towards others does not change even if they behave negatively.

So, have compassion, love and patience with yourself as this will be a long and challenging journey.

But in the end, it will all be worth it.

And always remember — success cannot be pursued it must ensue.

Here’s to our success.

Love,
Sonam

Take the long way, it’s shorter

Photo by Ryan Stone on Unsplash

When I first heard this, I thought to myself – “take the long way? Who the hell wants to take the long way to get to where they want to go? I’m taking the shorter way, every time, so I can save time, beat out my competition and have way less stress along the way”.

Can you relate? I’m sure you can. We’ve all thought about it and done it…plenty of times.

But what if I told you that taking the long way would actually get you to your destination, goal, or dreams even faster? Hear me out…

You see, we’ve grown up in a society where our goal is to win by any means necessary, at any cost, where it’s dog eat dog, mano y mano. Second place is “losing place”, as we all know. First place is all that matters, all that will ever matter and the only one we remember. The rest are just not important.

I grew up thinking this and it greatly influenced my thoughts, actions and results in life. But as you get older and wiser you come to realize that this isn’t true.

Yes, in competitions or games it does matter if you’re purely basing it off of ranking.

But in the game of life, this just simply does not matter…at all.

We’re all on a journey of self growth and moving on different planes. We have different dreams, aspirations, and are just different human beings, if you really get down to basics.

There simply is no reason to compare with one another. None.

1. Sports

For example, I’ve grown up playing sports my entire life. I’ve learned about the value of hard work, dedication and discipline.

Even more so now into my Professional Basketball Career and entrepreneurial endeavors. One of my mottos is that “Hard work, smart work and dedication forever pays.”

So, I understand the amount of work, focus and energy that must go into my craft to perform at my highest level.

I must admit I am guilty of times where I felt, “eh, I can just practice 1 day this week and I’ll still make every shot, be in the best shape and win the game.”

Well, I quickly learned that this just doesn’t work. It takes repetition, 10,000 hours (or more depending on the quality of practice and intenseness of focus).

It takes muscle memory. Heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears.

The late Kobe Bryant (one of my heroes) said it best:

You can’t cheat the muse.

Former Dallas Cowboy tight end, Jason Witten, beautifully described his inspiration from Kobe’s mantra when he said:

I told him how I had adopted a mantra of his over the years: ‘You can’t cheat the muse’ – as a way to stay disciplined. Those mornings when you didn’t want to wake up, or get in the extra balls after practice. If my son wasn’t putting in the effort for a test at school I would tell him, ‘You can’t cheat the muse.’

You can’t. And everything Kobe did in life, he set the standard. Kobe Bryant knew that the path to success in anything in life is not easy, and not for everyone. You might be able to slide by a day at practice, and get away with it.

But, the muse would know. The muse always knows. As a father, and as a competitor.

I’ll never forget you Kobe, what a damn life. You never cheated the muse, and we are all better off because of your standard of excellence. RIP

Read the full article here: https://www.si.com/nfl/cowboys/news/icons-kobe-bryant-and-jason-witten-watching-film-together-you-cant-cheat-the-muse

2. Steroid use in Fitness & Bodybuilding

In Fitness, specifically bodybuilding, some guys resort to steroids just to get an edge on their competitors or just to be “bigger”.

But you know what, they end of getting caught and disqualified from competition. And if they don’t get caught it will catch up with them later on in life with all kinds of ailments and illnesses.

3. Building a house, apartment building, skyscraper, bridge, tunnel, etc.

If we look at building a house, apartment building, skyscraper, bridge, or tunnel, the foundation must be solid and the whole process must be done with precision.

If built with a weak foundation, rushed process with engineers and construction workers simply looking for shortcuts instead of focusing on quality and accuracy, the whole infrastructure will come crashing down.

In J.E. Gordon’s Structures : Or Why Things Don’t Fall Down, we get an in depth insight into how things are built and why things don’t fall down. This book gives us a magnificent, in depth look into this world of structures and is truly fascinating. Here’s a powerful quote from J.E. Gordon:

It is necessary to avoid confusion between the strength of a structure and the strength of a material.

You can grab the book here on Amazon: Structures : Or Why Things Don’t Fall Down

4. Cheating on an exam

I admit, I’ve cheated on an exam. And it did not feel good.

Yeah, I may have gotten a good grade on my exam, but afterwards I felt ashamed and disappointed in myself.

This goes back to our need to be #1 or to beat our peers just to feel a sense of accomplishment and conquering. I must add that this was also fueled by strict Asian parents and the need to please them and feel loved.

Unfortunately, however, when you cheat, you end up cheating on yourself and hurting yourself in the long run.

5. Business profits vs. passions. Straight to the money or focusing on the long game

This is a topic that I hold very near and dear to my heart for I have committed this crime more times than I can count and pains me every time, to think of the time I’ve wasted.

When I graduated college, I had this big dream (and still do) of paying back my parents for putting me through private high school and college.

So I got a job and simultaneously started one of my first businesses at 21, focusing purely on money, on how I could make as much of it as possible, and how many deals I could close and clients I could get.

But those businesses failed.

The jobs I had were soul sucking and painstakingly depressing since what also wanted to do was play professional basketball overseas, travel and make money solely from my businesses.

After these experiences, I realized that I was wrong in pursuing just money.

I should have followed my passions, things that make me feel alive, and that set my soul on fire.

Read more of my views on what passion means to me by clicking here on my other blog post: What is passion?

I should have focused on providing value, attracting success instead of pursuing it and coming from a place of giving versus simply taking.

And so I started this blog, my youtube channel, creating a community, creating a movement, and just giving and sharing all my knowledge and experience to inspire others to take action on actualizing their dreams.

6. Learning a new skill.

Learning a new skill is a wild, fun adventure. It will take you down many paths of wonderment and awe. But once the phase of astonishment has subsided, there appears repetition.

And as the late Zig Ziglar beautifully described:

Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action, which makes it the architect of accomplishment

I’m sure you would agree that learning a new skill is often both fascinating yet highly challenging. It requires focus, energy and constant repetition.

Thus, there are no shortcuts. You must take the long way.

7. Growing as a human being

To grow as a human being, whether that be mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc. It takes time. Lots of time.

Yes, there are ways to have breakthroughs and transformations much faster but this also takes time.

Working on yourself, reflection, introspection, failure after failure until you even come close to feeling like you’ve grown to the next level, a better version of yourself.

That feeling we all yearn for, of feeling like we’ve “arrived”, will take time and more work.

Yet some people may never feel like they’ve fully “arrived”.

But thankfully the ability to feel whole is available to us all at any moment, if we just become grateful, happy, and present.

8. Sexual energy and sexual transmutation into creative outlets

Ah, sexual energy.

It is one of the most powerful energies known to man. If harnessed correctly man can do unbelievable things.

In fact, here’s what Napoleon Hill believes about sexual transmutation, in one of my all time favorite books, Think and Grow Rich,

The mere possession of sex energy itself is not sufficient to produce genius. The energy must be transmuted from desire for merely physical contact, into some other form of desire and action before it will lift one to the status of a genius.

I’ve made this a practice of mine, as I practice what is called “Semen retention” and “no fap”, for I too would like to tap into my genius capabilities and perform at the highest level I possibly can.

Semen retention is simply holding my seed, my life force within me, so that I can impregnate the world through my creativity.

No fap is essentially not masturbating and not watching porn.

I know that there are differing viewpoints and different camps when it comes to these two topics.

However, it has been my experience that through keeping my life force within me and not pleasuring myself via masturbation and thus no porn, replaced with meditation, exercise, better habits (especially sleep) and giving myself to my work that I have been able to access a higher level of thinking, awareness, experience incredible, consistent, clean, pure energy, sustain peak performance much more consistently, think more clearly, speak more articulately and many other amazing benefits.

Simply put, instead of releasing my life force and enjoying momentary pleasure via masturbation and porn I have delayed that instant gratification and focus on transmuting that sexual energy through my passions, work and life.

Granted, I do release every 30 days, 90 days or more depending on whether I feel I need to release some sexual tension. But I do this with awareness and that my friend is freedom.

But I digress. I’ll talk more about these two topics in separate posts I have so much to share with you all.

9. Life

The ultimate game. Doing the easy things now to feel short term satisfaction versus doing the necessary hard things in order to live a life of fulfillment, joy and happiness for the long term and rest of your life.

Don’t get me wrong there are times where shortcuts make more sense, such as keyboard shortcuts, spark notes or cliff notes to help you understand the gist about a book, jumping over a puddle of water instead of having to go all the way around where it’s dry.

But for the big decisions or important things in life, it’s almost always better to go the long way.

Do what is right. Always. For doing the wrong thing will lead you astray.

Be patient in the long term, but impatient in the short term.

However, don’t take my word for it.

Try it for yourself.

Experiment.

I have a pretty strong inkling that you will feel the same.

With love,
Sonam

Magical Make It Happen Monday

Photo by Cristian Escobar on Unsplash

At the start of each day, I label the day something fun and inspiring with some alliteration to make it memorable.

Today is, Magical Make It Happen Monday. A day that will be magical yet highly actionable and output focused as we will strive to make magic happen through sharing our passion, genius and brilliance with the world.

As we all know, Mondays can be a day filled with dread, stress, worry, overwhelm, fatigue, anger and just an all around disdain for the day. At least in the U.S., our work week starts on Monday whereas some countries like in my native country, Nepal, work begins on Sunday.

In any case, for us Americans, Monday is the day that most of us were not looking forward to. That is if you hate what you do, don’t like what you do, or just yearning to do something else.

I used to be this person who hated what they did for a living.

You see I started off this bright eyed, bushy tailed kid out of business school ready to take on the world and put my skills to good use. But as time went on, I grew more and more unhappy with my jobs, with bosses, coworkers, corporate politics, 9 to 5 work constraints, and much more.

I knew deep in my heart that I was destined for more. I knew that I wanted to be an entrepreneur but at the same time I wanted to play professional basketball overseas – a dream I had since I was a kid.

Fortunately, I’ve gone on to accomplish both those things – I have become an entrepreneur and a professional basketball player.

So, today, for me, Mondays are no longer a day I dread.

In fact, it’s a day that I look forward to and one in which I feel like is a great opportunity to crush and start off the work week with a bang and on the right foot. I love what I do now because deep down of who I am, I am a creator, an innovator, and a loving soul who just wants to give, help, and share my gifts with the world so we all can prosper.

This “creation” comes in many forms such as this blog, my youtube videos, my social media channels, my photos, my businesses, my products, etc.

As an employee I felt shackled and restrained from fully being me and letting my thoughts, my beliefs and my work shine through.

Now, I am free to share my thoughts, beliefs and creations with the world. I do not need approval from anyone. I do not need their negativity, their cynicism, pessimism, their desire for mediocrity, or their input. I can publish whenever and whatever I want and that is such a liberating feeling. More than the freedom of the work itself, is the time freedom I now have be able to do what I went, when I want, and go wherever I want at any moment. As a father to a newborn this is invaluable and one of the greatest gifts as an entrepreneur, to be able to spend time with family and be there for them when they need me most.

So to sum up this post, I understand we are all facing one of the most challenging times in our history with this pandemic. But we will get through it together as we’ve always done throughout the beginning of time.

For me, I am focused on creating and helping others become the greatest versions of themselves, live their best life and live their dreams. I would have loved to continue playing professional Basketball this year, but it’s okay I can play the end of this year or next year.

For now, I will make the most of this time with family, with my work and with myself for introspection and reflection. This has been a devastating yet high growth year for me personally, as I’ve been able to focus more on creating and sharing my magic with the world rather than having to go to a soul sucking job and letting my gifts just wither away.

And I wish the same for you. Make the most of this time we all have at home quarantined.

If you are still working a job, then make time for your dreams and side hustles. Work on them in the early morning before work, lunch hours, breaks, after work, weekends, whenever you have a free moment.

If you’re lucky enough to be able to work full time on your dreams and/or business then keep going.

Above all, whether you are still working a day job or working full time on your passions, never stop pursuing that which sets your soul on fire.

Share your magic with the world.

Peace and love,
Sonam

What Is Passion?

Photo by The Video Ink

Passion: Passion is a feeling of intense enthusiasm towards or compelling desire for someone or something.

Strong and barely controllable emotion. That which excites you and/or inspires you into action. Willingness to suffer for something you love. 

Passion can range from eager interest in or admiration for an idea, proposal, or cause; to enthusiastic enjoyment of an interest or activity; to strong attraction, excitement, or emotion towards a person.

The “willingness to suffer for something you love” meaning of passion is one that is not very popular today or even that well known. Most of us have come to associate the word passion with the first definition. 

However, passion is something that goes much deeper into simply having a strong interest or desire in some area or someone.


Passion is about yearning for something so deeply that you lose yourself in it while doing it. 

You lose all sense of time. Time just passes by like nothing. Nothing else matters. It is your North Star. You forget to eat, drink, pee. It is all you think about all day long. 

While you are going about your daily life it constantly consumes your every thought. You are willing to give up sleep, give up food, give up drink, give up time with loved ones, give up pleasure, fight through pain, blood, sweat, tears, etc. 

It’s beautiful. It’s messy. It’s dirty. It’s heartbreaking. It’s awe inspiring. It’s real.

You are willing to do anything to do the thing that you love you so much. And you suffocate if you are not doing that thing you love so deeply. 

This is passion. 

It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from none other than Les Brown,

If you want a thing bad enough to go out and fight for it, to work day and night for it, to give up your time, your peace and sleep for it. 

If all that you dream and scheme is about it, and life seems useless and worthless without it. 

If you gladly sweat for it and fret for it and plan for it and lose all your terror of the opposition for it. 

If you simply go after that thing that you want with all your capacity, strength and sagacity, faith hope and confidence and stern pertinacity. 

If neither cold, poverty, famine, nor gout, sickness nor pain, of body and brain, can keep you away from the thing that you want. 

If dogged and grim you beseech and beset it, with the help of God, YOU WILL GET IT!

This is passion.

For me, one of my biggest passions in life since I was a young boy has been Basketball. 

Basketball was my first true love, my best friend, my everything. 

The Basketball court was my safe haven, my sanctuary, my place of escape. It represented the good that was in my life and something I could always turn to when I was feeling down. 

In fact, Basketball is what allowed me to travel overseas, see different cultures, and live out of my dream of playing Professional Basketball.

You see, as a kid, Basketball for me was like a religion. 

I ate, slept and breathed Basketball. I would even sleep with a basketball some nights. It consumed my every thought, decision and move in life. 

In the summer time, I would play from sun up til’ sun down at 4th Street Park aka “Church Square Park” in my hometown, Hoboken, New Jersey. 

This would be 8–10 hours a day, every day of the summer when I wasn’t playing AAU games or at practice.

As I got into high school and playing Varsity, I would dribble a blue handball in between classes at St. Peter’s Prep to improve my ballhandling since legend has it that Steve Nash did as well — so I did too. 

I would play in my khakis, shirt, tie, cardigan, dress shoes during recess and lunch dominating the courts and putting on shows in front of my classmates getting the craziest, loudest “oohs” and “aahs” you wouldn’t believe from my classmates. 

I bought jump soles, which are a type of shoe with a rubber “platform” underneath it to improve my vertical leap. I did sprints and jumping exercises in the pool to jump higher. I bought countless programs to improve my shooting, scoring, vertical leap, etc. 

I even spent $2,000 of my own money to fly out to two Pro Basketball Camps/Showcases in Las Vegas (Bridgewater Academy and Euro Basket) to perform in front of Pro scouts, coaches and agents in hopes of securing a pro contract. 

At Bridgewater, I got selected to the Top 20 All Start Team among 300 hundred or so players. From this, I got my first agent, who informed me about a Pro tryout at the Aviator Center in Brooklyn, NY for the Mongolian Basketball League called MNBA. 

I figured since I was Asian and specifically of Sherpa/Tibetan descent that it would be a good start for me in Mongolia as our cultures and people are very similar. 

I was right and as luck would have it, I was able to secure my 1st ever Pro contract playing ball in beautiful, yet super cold Mongolia.

Basketball for me was not just a passion it was an obsession. And guess what…

I loved it. I loved every, single moment. The ups, downs, blood, sweat and tears. 

Why? 

Because it was the love of my life, my passion. And I still love it to this day.

But today as a grown man at 31 years of age, I have developed several other passions as well. 

One of which you are witnessing right now — writing, specifically, storytelling, as a way to convey a message that would somehow inspire others to take action on their dreams and pursue that which sets their soul on fire.

The late Kobe Bryant, mentioned in an interview,

From age 21–33, I looked and looked inside myself and in the outside world for my “next” great passion that was equal to or even greater than Basketball. After much reflection and introspection, I was finally able to come to the realization that this passion that was equal to or even greater than Basketball was — storytelling. Ever since I was a kid, I loved to write and tell stories. I want to be remembered as a person that was able to create stories that inspired their children and families to bond together

Can you believe that? An Oscar? Come on man, that is incredible.

But even more incredible was the fact that he was one of the greatest players in Basketball history and then as his “Second Act” goes on to win an Oscar. 

Take a second to let that sink in…

You see what I mean?

Ok now let’s move on.

So, you see, one can have several passions in life. Mine just happened to be Basketball early on in my young life and I am forever grateful for finding it so early as I know many people search an entire lifetime and don’t find their passions. 

However, somehow through self awareness and much introspection I have come to realize and develop several of my passions other than Basketball, which are: helping others (our Motto at my alma mater, St. Peter’s Prep: “Being a man for and with others”), storytelling, writing, creating (ie. Youtube, videos, writing), Entrepreneurship, meditation, staying still with my thoughts, Fitness, athletic performance, Basketball skills training, athletic performance training, strength training, freedom in every sense of the word (time freedom, financial freedom, emotional freedom, etc.), philosophy, music, traveling, reading, visualization, and several other passions as well.

Above all is my passion for my family. 

My passion to be a loving, caring and supportive son, brother, husband, father, friend. 

Without my family I am nothing. 

My family is my deepest inspiration in life and for them I would do and give anything. Anything.

This is passion.

Also, I am an Alpha male. And as an Alpha it is my duty and greatest desire to love, provide and protect my family at all costs. 

As you can see throughout this short story and glimpse into my life, of who I am as a person, you will see that on a “Hero’s Journey” one may have one, several or many passions.

The amount does not matter. What does matter is that you find your passion, your true calling in life and give yourself to your passion — mind, body and soul. 

For your passion is your life force, your purpose, your reason for being. If you feel a higher purpose in life, please follow your passion. Please follow your bliss. 

We, your brothers and sisters of the world need you and your passion more than you’ll ever know.


I hope this different perspective of passion inspired you or helped you aspire to take action on your passion.

What is it that you cannot help but do? 

What sets your soul on fire? 

What is your passion? 

What is your definition of passion? 

Also, how did you like this post? Please provide your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below so we can discuss this topic on passion, how it relates to you and what we can all do to live out our passions as we live out our days here together on Earth.

I’ll leave you with this message from, Steve Jobs, one of the most influential entrepreneurs of all time,

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it

Love,
Sonam

Using what you have to level up in life.

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

We are all faced with situations when we feel that we are not ready or don’t have that “thing”, which would allow us to “level up”. Trust me, this is all too tempting and something that every single person goes through. In fact, this is something I have been pondering a lot lately and something that is proving to be true over and over again. Let me explain…

So recently, I hurt my ankle while playing Basketball and I heard something pop. My immediate reaction was “oh fuck, please don’t tell me I broke it! Please God, please God, please God!” You see for me training is life and if I can’t train and get better my whole life is fucked. I’m trying to get back to play Pro Basketball overseas. On top of that my growing training business and youtube channel depend on my well being and ability to train, record myself and demonstrate to others how to perform athletic movements. In any case, my friend Remi came over and asked me if I could walk, I said, “nah I don’t think so”. I tried but no I was in excruciating pain, so I just hopped over to the bench. I just sat there trying to move my ankle in a circular motion and try to do the ABC’s but it hurt so much. After 10 minutes of just sitting and talking with some old friends whom I hadn’t seen in a while, due to COVID, I tried walking and thank God I was able to at least limp with a decent amount of pain.

Fast forward a few days and the Doctor looked at my X rays and said, “Good news, it looks like you just have a sprained ankle.” Boy was I relieved. Doc said I had symptoms of a fracture and he spotted one very tiny possible hairline fracture, which could be a tiny fracture in the bone outside my ankle. I asked him, “what is your gut telling you Doc?” He says, my gut is telling me that you are fine”. Phew. But “let’s give it a week” he says. So he wrapped me up in an ace bandage, put me in a boot, and off I went…in a boot! I was thankful for just having a sprained ankle but that still meant I had to take some time to rest and recover and for an active athlete like me a few days feels like an eternity.

Me with my boot on pissed that I have to wear this thing now.

So, I get home and after a few days in my boot, I can’t take it anymore.

Elevating my foot in the ace bandage Doc wrapped my ankle in

So while resting and elevating my foot on my three fluffy pillows I ask myself, “what could I do right now even though I have a sprained ankle with this boot on?” My mind immediately went to “Ab training, stationary Basketball form shooting, pushups, situps, pullups, dips, etc..” So I went straight into doing 100 pushups that 1st day and 100 crunches. The next day, I did abs and chest. I did one of my favorite ab workouts from my boy Brandon Carter called “The Ab Assault”. I crushed this 25 minute ab workout and then went into doing 103 variations of pushups from regular pushups, close, wide, diamond. I also did 103 crunches. I even did 5-10 second L sits balancing on two chairs for the first time. I felt fucking amazing! Oh and boy did I feel that pump! Whooo! Let’s fucking go!

You see, I made the most of my situation and did whatever I could to improve myself. I could have sat there and sulked with the woe is me mentality. But nah I knew I was better than that and that there was so much I could do since I only had one hurt leg. I had more limbs and body parts I could workout. Now granted, take your rest for the first few days and if you feel up for it then get up and start working. Time waits for no man. Thankfully, after resting for about 4 days, incorporating the proper RICE (aka Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevate.) method during the first few days of my injury and of course with the Doctor’s help my ankle feels amazing. No pain when I walk and I feel like with some more rehab I will be back on the court and training in the weight room by next week.

Another quick example is my decision to buy one of the best and most expensive pro cameras on the market to “level up” my Youtube Channel and vlogging video quality. You see, I don’t REALLY need the nicest camera right now since my Iphone 10 S Max already shoots in 4k 60 fps. On top of that I will be upgrading next month anyway to the latest iphone 12, which will have an even better camera than my 10 S Max and will shoot in 4k 60 fps as well in addition to having a wider lens and many other new amazing features. My focus and goal should actually be to just start posting my already recorded videos and record new videos with my phone until the Sony A 7 S III is back in stock for me to order. I could use the money that I would have spent on that for better lighting, necessary youtube gear, other essential business accessories, etc.

My last example, is this blog. In the beginning of my blogging journey I didn’t think I was enough. I use to study the philosophies and teachings of so many of the greatest minds for hours upon hours and look to emulate their mindsets and views on the world. All the while I had everything I needed inside of me. All I had to do was just speak my truth, which would eventually help someone, who is in the same position as me, or a few years behind me in their journey and who could learn from my mistakes and lessons.

So family, what have you gone through or are currently going through where you felt or feel that you just weren’t ready, weren’t enough, or didn’t have enough resources to get the job done? I know I’ve been through this many times in my life. But as the title of Grace Byers Children’s book says “I Am Enough”. In fact, I have this posted on the wall in my office just above my desk to remind myself constantly throughout the day that “I Am Enough”.

I encourage you to just start now on whatever that “thing” is you want to do or “who” you want to become. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Do not live your life with regret. If there’s one thing that COVID has taught us is that you never know when it is your time to go. The clock is ticking. Time waits for no man or woman. Make your mark. I love you. We the people of the world love you.

What are you waiting for? For we are waiting for your magic and brilliance that we all know you can bring to our world.

With all my love. Stay safe and stay blessed.

Sonam


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